Sunday, July 14, 2013
The Engagement
"Things are not the way they are supposed to be." A phrase Pastor Joel used in his message this morning to make a point about how sin has affected all of life. He applied it to becoming ill when not expected and having to let go of loved ones sooner than we expected. John and I could relate to that thought so easily since we lost our spouses. It has been a journey for us both that holds with it lots of ups and downs. We are often reminded whether by a sermon or reading God's Word, or reading the devotion book we are doing together on grief that God has a plan and truly can work all things for our good. This does not mean we never cry or get hit with memories that make us smile or tear up. This means we trust that God will help us walk in His will and way as we find open doors and encouragement from our family and others to continue our new love relationship. God has been so amazing in showing us how to love again and giving us courage to do so. Courage you say? Courage indeed to love again after 53 and 48 years of being married to other spouses with children and grandchildren who are very used to that person being with us. Therefore we have spent the last 4 months realizing we wanted to get to know each other better and taking the time to get closer to each others families. This took (and still does) some doing to spend time with families separately and altogether so they can express their feelings of seeing us together. We have had some awesome time of laughing and crying with all of them. I think my favorite time was when John asked for my hand in marriage from our foster daughter, Tricia and her husband Steve when we went down south as well as my 4 children with their spouses here in Visalia. Tony brought humor into the evening by having a voting ballot with some very funny statements on it. :-) We have received blessings from all and also from the grandchildren. John and I felt it was very important to have family on board for this huge change in everyone's life.
Many have asked where will we live. Well my house is in a perfect spot and John is very excited to move here with me. This makes my family happy and I think his family is fine with that decision as well. Our wedding date is set for October 26 of this year and we plan to invite only family and make it a sweet celebration of about 80 or so by the time all the relatives near and far are invited.
John and I thank God for the response of our church family. Tom and I and John and Marlys have lived in this community for over 40 years. So many people know these brothers as well as Marlys and I who were involved in our churches and community. It brings a lot of joy to John and I that many of our church family and friends in community have been so happy for us as we have made our engagement known. There is a certain amount of fear that people won't like it since we are replacing, so to speak, a couple of very special people in our lives. I know that God has directed our love to be given to each other and be able to share whatever time He calls us to live on His earth before going home!
John and I have come through several months of talking before deciding this is what we wanted for our lives. It may seem like this was easy to decide but I can say, no it wasn't. How did it began? Well I started it, I confess, since I felt the need after realizing how lonely life can be if one does not make plans for some social times with others. Men just don't have the advantages women do with social outings. Anyway Jeanie, John's daughter, told me sometime in January that John had gone out for dinner alone. I immediately told John, "Don't do that! If you want to go out just call me! I'll go with you!" After I told him that I thought, "Oh dear! What have I done! That was a little forward of me!" I did feel totally safe about it though since I trusted John completely and enjoyed being with him! Never the less I felt I may have overstepped my boundaries which can be my middle name at times! I decided I was safe in the end since he probably wouldn't call me anyway! Wrong - he waited a day and then asked me to go to dinner on Thursday, it was Tuesday when he called. We had such a fun evening talking and talking. Then the following weekend John's sister, who lives in Ripon, became very ill and was not expected to live very long. It hit John pretty hard and of course he wanted to visit her. I felt it was not wise for him to travel alone so I volunteered to go with him to keep him company for the day. Tom and I had often gone to visit her so I too wanted to see her if she wasn't going to survive long. Again we found so much to talk about and the trip flew by. John decided to ask a very thought provoking question, "Do you think I should marry again?" Me thinking - "Wh-at I'm not quite rea-dy for that thought!" Me speaking, 'Well I guess you have to do what is right for you." Me thinking again - "I had too nice of a time with this man to let him to chase after other women yet!" Me saying, "Ummm I wouldn't mind us "talking" as young kids call it." After saying that the next day I realized he may not have meant he wanted to "talk" to me so I called and apologized for assuming he might wish to talk to me! I also said I would be glad to set him up with some very nice ladies I knew! It was his turn to stutter and say he WAS interested in talking to me more! We began talking so much on our cell phones at night both our children noticed our bills changed which came through our businesses! They were suddenly showing way more minutes than normal. Needless to say we had to confess and get unlimited minute plans. By Easter we realized we were ready to let more people know about a relationship which had gone from talking to dating. And on June 28 John asked me if I had a day I could give him 4 or 5 hours of time. It was about 105 that day and he looked for the coolest place which was the mountains. He booked lunch at the Wuksachi Lodge in the Peaks restaurant in the Sequoia National Park and during lunch he asked me if I would marry him. It was a very sweet time of realizing how we had grown in a special love that God granted us. We were very sure it was a God led thing since it was a complete surprise to us both. Neither one of us expected more than a dear friendship when we first began and there were plenty of bumps in the road of talking and dating since I had my share of insecure feelings. The thing that changed me was a feeling that if I did not make up my mind that I was really sure I would have to say goodbye. When I faced that truthfully I realized I did not want to lose him and cried for most of the morning working through the feelings.
Well that's the best way I can describe our love story. We both realize just because we found new love does not mean old love disappears or the grief that goes with it. We expect tears to come from time to time. We have found don't measure love by the grief we feel, but just cry it out and receive the peace only God can give in order to move on. God has answered so many prayers already that He won't stop now! We realize He has many surprises for us on our road of life that leads to being "Expected in Heaven"! The Love Story continues.....................
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Changes
"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:4-5
A great verse to start my day along with the advice to - "He (God through His Spirit) will not help you go backward, so beware of seeking refuge in the past. You need to keep moving forward......" I find that in my reading and devotion time, this advice is often given. It has helped me as life is so different and sometimes I just want to go back and wish I could still be in that place I loved and enjoyed with a very dear man.
It is 8 months already and things are changing. The tears don't come as often, but still can surprise me at odd times when I least expect. I have learned that it is good to cry so the sadness is able to get out and I can go on in God's strength. I have also learned God wants me to live the life He gives me and be open to the changes. Every day there can be a lot of changes. Living alone is never that great when life was shared with another for so long. I have a great group of grandkids who live close that don't allow too much opportunity for loneliness though. Sundays and weekends are full of activities not to mention the ministry I enjoy during the week. My children and grandchildren and others seem to call often so I have an incredible amount of fun things to do. Like go to Disneyland and use my year pass plenty!!
My biggest change - a boyfriend!! All I can say is this was not supposed to happen! I was quite determined to live alone and enjoy life with family and friends! I guess you can say God had other plans. I know I told you that my sister-in-law passed away a few short weeks after Tom. I felt the need to encourage my brother-in-law, John, making sure he did not become a hermit. I knew how lonely weekends could feel if you did not get together with family after church or do some things with friends during the week. Women so often are the social planners so I took it upon myself to invite him to gatherings with friends and family. I did not realize this would inspire friendship and sharing together in a way that would lead to caring so deeply. Silly me........ Anyway we announced to our family first when we discovered we might care a little more than just friends about each other. A few weeks ago we told others. So I was ready to blog it and admit I am enjoying having a relationship with a man.
There are so many feelings that go with allowing someone else in your life - is this okay? Is it God's will for you? What will my family think? What will others think? I loved my husband so much how can I love another?? I can tell you our families were so important to us both and how they felt. We have a big advantage since they have known and loved their uncle as long as we have been married and we always lived close. It was still a VERY big change for all of us and we have spent hours talking on the phone and in person about these changes. Praying over as well as thinking about what we might be ready for. Time will tell..... One thing that was helpful were some things we both read in a book called "The Color of Rain". It was about a couple who had lost spouses and what they went through and how they met and married. The one thing that helped me was when one of their children was struggling over loving another possible mother. The woman who was going to be the new mother asked her if she was feeling guilty about loving another mother. The girl said yes. She then told her that her own mother had helped her one day by saying when we have more than one child we don't stop loving the first one we just grow another heart to love the next child. This was a big help to me also, and John, as we know how much we both loved our spouses and that doesn't go away. We are learning it is possible to love another and go forward in life.
That's the news for now and as John and I go forward we realize this:
"The length of our days is seventy or eighty if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away" Psalm 90:10
Therefore we must "Dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty and say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2
God has given us a short time on this earth to love and be loved and be an example of how to love with His love while we have time to do so. We look forward to life as long as God grants it and then know we are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN with our loved ones one day!
A great verse to start my day along with the advice to - "He (God through His Spirit) will not help you go backward, so beware of seeking refuge in the past. You need to keep moving forward......" I find that in my reading and devotion time, this advice is often given. It has helped me as life is so different and sometimes I just want to go back and wish I could still be in that place I loved and enjoyed with a very dear man.
It is 8 months already and things are changing. The tears don't come as often, but still can surprise me at odd times when I least expect. I have learned that it is good to cry so the sadness is able to get out and I can go on in God's strength. I have also learned God wants me to live the life He gives me and be open to the changes. Every day there can be a lot of changes. Living alone is never that great when life was shared with another for so long. I have a great group of grandkids who live close that don't allow too much opportunity for loneliness though. Sundays and weekends are full of activities not to mention the ministry I enjoy during the week. My children and grandchildren and others seem to call often so I have an incredible amount of fun things to do. Like go to Disneyland and use my year pass plenty!!
My biggest change - a boyfriend!! All I can say is this was not supposed to happen! I was quite determined to live alone and enjoy life with family and friends! I guess you can say God had other plans. I know I told you that my sister-in-law passed away a few short weeks after Tom. I felt the need to encourage my brother-in-law, John, making sure he did not become a hermit. I knew how lonely weekends could feel if you did not get together with family after church or do some things with friends during the week. Women so often are the social planners so I took it upon myself to invite him to gatherings with friends and family. I did not realize this would inspire friendship and sharing together in a way that would lead to caring so deeply. Silly me........ Anyway we announced to our family first when we discovered we might care a little more than just friends about each other. A few weeks ago we told others. So I was ready to blog it and admit I am enjoying having a relationship with a man.
There are so many feelings that go with allowing someone else in your life - is this okay? Is it God's will for you? What will my family think? What will others think? I loved my husband so much how can I love another?? I can tell you our families were so important to us both and how they felt. We have a big advantage since they have known and loved their uncle as long as we have been married and we always lived close. It was still a VERY big change for all of us and we have spent hours talking on the phone and in person about these changes. Praying over as well as thinking about what we might be ready for. Time will tell..... One thing that was helpful were some things we both read in a book called "The Color of Rain". It was about a couple who had lost spouses and what they went through and how they met and married. The one thing that helped me was when one of their children was struggling over loving another possible mother. The woman who was going to be the new mother asked her if she was feeling guilty about loving another mother. The girl said yes. She then told her that her own mother had helped her one day by saying when we have more than one child we don't stop loving the first one we just grow another heart to love the next child. This was a big help to me also, and John, as we know how much we both loved our spouses and that doesn't go away. We are learning it is possible to love another and go forward in life.
That's the news for now and as John and I go forward we realize this:
"The length of our days is seventy or eighty if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away" Psalm 90:10
Therefore we must "Dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty and say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2
God has given us a short time on this earth to love and be loved and be an example of how to love with His love while we have time to do so. We look forward to life as long as God grants it and then know we are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN with our loved ones one day!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Expecting better days
My prayer is that all of you who read this had a blessed Easter season and were reminded of God's gift to us. We can be expected in Heaven if we embrace the truth of the death and resurrection of Christ for ourselves and for the forgiveness of our sins!
It's been awhile since I last blogged - my life stays active! I always feel that is a huge blessing and know that so many family members and friends do so much to make my life full. Yet of course there are many things that come my way and hit me like an unexpected wave to make the tears flow. It never ceases to amaze me how easy that can happen. I can be feeling like nothing will make me sad again (foolish thought I know) when suddenly something happens to break the dam. I like it when I'm alone when that happens since it gives a lot more freedom to cut loose the tears. After that happens it is wonderful how lifted up and relieved I can feel, so I know to cry is good. I know also that going into my seventh month already it is starting to feel like I have come to a peak of a mountain and going down the other side very cautiously.
One reason I feel a summit of sorts was reached was because one night I had a dream that seemed to break a very big dam. It was about a little girl who had to leave home and she of course was very afraid because she did not know how to care for herself. I woke up from her weeping and weeping and realized it was me who felt all alone! I cried the hardest I ever cried and was very glad no one was in my house or nearby since I was rather loud and needed to be! I felt like I would never stop and there was no one who could help me! I felt so alone and helpless!! It was 2 a.m. and I was so wide awake I was sure I would not sleep again that night or stop crying. Then my head reminded me I was never alone really God had been there for the last 16 months and He had not gone away. My heart did not feel that at the moment but my head kept telling me it is true and started reminding me of the truth of God's Word that says, "The Lord is your Shepherd you shall not be in want! Cast all your care on Him for He cares for you! Nothing can separate you from the Love of God!" Several more verses came to my mind and slowly the tears stopped and rather miraculously I slept again very soundly till about 7 a.m. I had never before had a night like that, as I had experienced such peace at night, nor have I had one since. That night seemed to render healing that I can't exactly explain and it also made me realize in a big way no one can help you with anything in life or death the way God can. He is there for us but we do have to use the sources He provides to find Him. The main one being His Word the Bible. It is very powerful and one is never the same if we claim it's truth for ourselves.
Another reminder God gave me happened the next morning was this from a devotional I read:
"Do not worry about tomorrow. Your mind is in a fallen condition, it will sometimes wander across the timeline into tomorrow's trouble. God's presence lovingly awaits your attention. He's always near, so turning your thoughts to Him is an excellent option at all times. Come into His joyous Presence, He will delight you with unmerited Love."
The next day I was still feeling a little shaky and one of my devotions was entitled "Brokenness". I thought, "Ugh! I don't even want to read this one!" I very carefully started reading and planned on skimming it so it wouldn't be to hard to take because to tell the truth I had had quite enough of being broken! Anyway this is what it said:
"Nothing is wasted when it is shared with God. He can bring beauty out of the ashes of lost dreams; He can glean joy out of sorrow, peace out of adversity. This divine alchemy will become a reality in your experience as you learn how to share more and more of your life with God. You believe God is capable of creating wholeness out of your brokenness and struggles. So God urges you to bring all these things to Him for transformation, trusting in His healing Presence.
God takes great delight in transforming His precious children. Give Him your broken dreams! Release them into His care and keeping. He will not only heal the brokenness, He will give you (me) a new dream - one that is in harmony with His plans for you (me)............"
Wow! I felt God's presence so close to me and I was so glad I suffered through reading what I was afraid to and finding hidden treasure. God wants us to believe and know that there is a ton of hidden treasure on this earth (if we pay close attention) as well as what awaits us in heaven! Be encouraged in your discouragement or trials because He is working something out that may surprise you!
"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" Matthew 19:26
As a very Godly man once said, "Always keep one foot on earth and one foot in heaven!"
God is very near there is just a veil that separates us really!
It's been awhile since I last blogged - my life stays active! I always feel that is a huge blessing and know that so many family members and friends do so much to make my life full. Yet of course there are many things that come my way and hit me like an unexpected wave to make the tears flow. It never ceases to amaze me how easy that can happen. I can be feeling like nothing will make me sad again (foolish thought I know) when suddenly something happens to break the dam. I like it when I'm alone when that happens since it gives a lot more freedom to cut loose the tears. After that happens it is wonderful how lifted up and relieved I can feel, so I know to cry is good. I know also that going into my seventh month already it is starting to feel like I have come to a peak of a mountain and going down the other side very cautiously.
One reason I feel a summit of sorts was reached was because one night I had a dream that seemed to break a very big dam. It was about a little girl who had to leave home and she of course was very afraid because she did not know how to care for herself. I woke up from her weeping and weeping and realized it was me who felt all alone! I cried the hardest I ever cried and was very glad no one was in my house or nearby since I was rather loud and needed to be! I felt like I would never stop and there was no one who could help me! I felt so alone and helpless!! It was 2 a.m. and I was so wide awake I was sure I would not sleep again that night or stop crying. Then my head reminded me I was never alone really God had been there for the last 16 months and He had not gone away. My heart did not feel that at the moment but my head kept telling me it is true and started reminding me of the truth of God's Word that says, "The Lord is your Shepherd you shall not be in want! Cast all your care on Him for He cares for you! Nothing can separate you from the Love of God!" Several more verses came to my mind and slowly the tears stopped and rather miraculously I slept again very soundly till about 7 a.m. I had never before had a night like that, as I had experienced such peace at night, nor have I had one since. That night seemed to render healing that I can't exactly explain and it also made me realize in a big way no one can help you with anything in life or death the way God can. He is there for us but we do have to use the sources He provides to find Him. The main one being His Word the Bible. It is very powerful and one is never the same if we claim it's truth for ourselves.
Another reminder God gave me happened the next morning was this from a devotional I read:
"Do not worry about tomorrow. Your mind is in a fallen condition, it will sometimes wander across the timeline into tomorrow's trouble. God's presence lovingly awaits your attention. He's always near, so turning your thoughts to Him is an excellent option at all times. Come into His joyous Presence, He will delight you with unmerited Love."
The next day I was still feeling a little shaky and one of my devotions was entitled "Brokenness". I thought, "Ugh! I don't even want to read this one!" I very carefully started reading and planned on skimming it so it wouldn't be to hard to take because to tell the truth I had had quite enough of being broken! Anyway this is what it said:
"Nothing is wasted when it is shared with God. He can bring beauty out of the ashes of lost dreams; He can glean joy out of sorrow, peace out of adversity. This divine alchemy will become a reality in your experience as you learn how to share more and more of your life with God. You believe God is capable of creating wholeness out of your brokenness and struggles. So God urges you to bring all these things to Him for transformation, trusting in His healing Presence.
God takes great delight in transforming His precious children. Give Him your broken dreams! Release them into His care and keeping. He will not only heal the brokenness, He will give you (me) a new dream - one that is in harmony with His plans for you (me)............"
Wow! I felt God's presence so close to me and I was so glad I suffered through reading what I was afraid to and finding hidden treasure. God wants us to believe and know that there is a ton of hidden treasure on this earth (if we pay close attention) as well as what awaits us in heaven! Be encouraged in your discouragement or trials because He is working something out that may surprise you!
"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" Matthew 19:26
As a very Godly man once said, "Always keep one foot on earth and one foot in heaven!"
God is very near there is just a veil that separates us really!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Peace
My Peace is such an all-encompassing gift that it is independent of circumstances. Though you lose everything else, if you gain My Peace you are rich indeed.
Let that be a deep comfort to you, especially amid the many aspects of your life over which you have no control! When you are feeling at the mercy of your circumstances, My all-encompassing Peace is exactly what you need, even though you sometimes feel unable to receive it. Perhaps that is because you cling to other things--your loved ones, your possessions, your reputation. It's as if you are wrapping your fingers tightly around a small copper coin while I am offering you unlimited supplies of pure gold. My desire is to help you treasure My Peace above everything in the world--recognizing it as a supernatural gift, bequeathed to My followers shortly before My death.
A man who knows he will soon die wants to leave something precious with those he loves. Therefore, I "willed" My Peace to My disciples and all who would follow Me. I knew this was a difficult gift to accept, especially in the midst of adversity. So, after My resurrection, the first words I spoke to My disciples were "Peace be with you!" They needed this reassurance to reinforce what I taught them before I died. You also need to be reminded of the divine nature of this gift, for it is not the world's peace I give you: It is Peace that transcends all understanding!
Peace I leave with you;my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said "Peace be with you!" John 20:19
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
(Taken from "Jesus Lives" by Sarah Young)
This was my morning devotion which like so many other times meets me just where I'm at. It is hard to explain how I feel but maybe the best way to describe it is all over the board! This morning I woke to feeling a lot of tears needing to break forth. I can't really explain why, they just seem to have a mind of their own that all of a sudden need to appear. A good cry seems to help quite a bit. I love it when my Bible readings and devotion all seem to meet me where I'm at. That alone makes me so sure there is a very real personal God who knows exactly how I am feeling. This happens far too often to say it is a coincidence.
Today is Sunday and it was good to worship again with others this morning but I was able to worship Friday night and Saturday at an in town women's retreat with my daughters and daughters-in-law and some granddaughters as well as a niece, along with some 490 other women. It was a moving time of inspiration even though we had times of mourning when a song made us think of our dear one who is no longer here. I also was moved to tears when I went to a station that had us glue pieces of ceramic to a board and imagine God healing the broken pieces of my life. I know it is good for me to face the mourning so all these times and things that happen are good. From our time together I think the best part is realizing I don't have to work so hard to make things happen just realize God takes care of it as needed and He always has me in His hands. I don't need a check list, instead be in conversation with my heavenly Father who is my Daddy and has my best interest in mind.
God will lead my life's spiritual adventure and I can relax and enjoy where He takes me and trust Him fully! I know He will give me the desires of my heart because as I trust and rest in Him my desires will be His!
I read another book by a man who was taken to heaven only to discover it wasn't his time. It had some very encouraging parts for me to think of my sweet Tom enjoying heaven the way this man's loved ones were. I felt it was just another way God used to reassure me that heaven is so very real and He has Tom in His perfect place at His perfect time. I also felt encouraged to continue to run the race set before me till He calls me Home.
Let that be a deep comfort to you, especially amid the many aspects of your life over which you have no control! When you are feeling at the mercy of your circumstances, My all-encompassing Peace is exactly what you need, even though you sometimes feel unable to receive it. Perhaps that is because you cling to other things--your loved ones, your possessions, your reputation. It's as if you are wrapping your fingers tightly around a small copper coin while I am offering you unlimited supplies of pure gold. My desire is to help you treasure My Peace above everything in the world--recognizing it as a supernatural gift, bequeathed to My followers shortly before My death.
A man who knows he will soon die wants to leave something precious with those he loves. Therefore, I "willed" My Peace to My disciples and all who would follow Me. I knew this was a difficult gift to accept, especially in the midst of adversity. So, after My resurrection, the first words I spoke to My disciples were "Peace be with you!" They needed this reassurance to reinforce what I taught them before I died. You also need to be reminded of the divine nature of this gift, for it is not the world's peace I give you: It is Peace that transcends all understanding!
Peace I leave with you;my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said "Peace be with you!" John 20:19
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7
(Taken from "Jesus Lives" by Sarah Young)
This was my morning devotion which like so many other times meets me just where I'm at. It is hard to explain how I feel but maybe the best way to describe it is all over the board! This morning I woke to feeling a lot of tears needing to break forth. I can't really explain why, they just seem to have a mind of their own that all of a sudden need to appear. A good cry seems to help quite a bit. I love it when my Bible readings and devotion all seem to meet me where I'm at. That alone makes me so sure there is a very real personal God who knows exactly how I am feeling. This happens far too often to say it is a coincidence.
Today is Sunday and it was good to worship again with others this morning but I was able to worship Friday night and Saturday at an in town women's retreat with my daughters and daughters-in-law and some granddaughters as well as a niece, along with some 490 other women. It was a moving time of inspiration even though we had times of mourning when a song made us think of our dear one who is no longer here. I also was moved to tears when I went to a station that had us glue pieces of ceramic to a board and imagine God healing the broken pieces of my life. I know it is good for me to face the mourning so all these times and things that happen are good. From our time together I think the best part is realizing I don't have to work so hard to make things happen just realize God takes care of it as needed and He always has me in His hands. I don't need a check list, instead be in conversation with my heavenly Father who is my Daddy and has my best interest in mind.
God will lead my life's spiritual adventure and I can relax and enjoy where He takes me and trust Him fully! I know He will give me the desires of my heart because as I trust and rest in Him my desires will be His!
I read another book by a man who was taken to heaven only to discover it wasn't his time. It had some very encouraging parts for me to think of my sweet Tom enjoying heaven the way this man's loved ones were. I felt it was just another way God used to reassure me that heaven is so very real and He has Tom in His perfect place at His perfect time. I also felt encouraged to continue to run the race set before me till He calls me Home.
Friday, February 15, 2013
Marrige
Here we are in the month of love..... Do you wonder how it might make those of us who have lost the most loved person in our life feel? Well I will try to explain where I am after 5 months. I feel so glad for those who have special relationships and are enjoying them to the full. Nothing is more wonderful than a marriage that works the way God intended it to work. If I see couples in my family or out in public snuggle or hold hands I am so glad they are enjoying each other while they have time to do that. God blessed Tom and I with an awesome relationship. We were so different yet we were one. We often would make a comment and the other would say I was thinking the same thing! We knew how the other would feel in any given situation and we both tried to do what the other liked even it wasn't our favorite thing to do. For example I tried hard to like sports (especially football) when my honey liked to watch the games on TV. He would take me to the movies from time to time just because he knew I liked to go even though that wasn't his favorite thing. We learned agape love over the years not 50/50 but give the other person 100% of yourself and don't always worry about what he is giving back. I discovered giving this way reaped many blessings for me. My husband loved me more and more and honored me always. We learned how to tell the other person if we were hurting so we could receive the needed comfort. It happened if we had to confess we messed up or if we had to tell the other their words hurt. We discovered often the other person did not even realize their words hurt. Tom and I were lovers not fighters so over the years we always worked on ways not to argue.
Now you may wonder do I miss that sweet relationship? More than I ever imagined. I thought I could be strong and stand alone...... Wow is it hard but God has indeed been there for me. I cry often still which I know is healthy, but I also know I must move on with my life everyday. I have such wonderful things to do often, so that is not the problem. My children and grandchildren are ALWAYS there for me. My church family embraces me too, so that I can never say no one cares! It would be pitiful for me to face life thinking no one loved me! Just not true! Just yesterday my two married grandchildren shared their Valentine dinner with their grandmother taking me to Ruth's Chris for a yummy steak dinner when I know they are both on tight budgets. If you haven't heard of this restaurant all I can say is your missing something very special. This week I also was able to enjoy the World Ag Show in Tulare which is world renown. I love to go since it is filled with interesting things relating to farming (which happens to be our family life work) and they have a women's area that has all sorts of tempting items to buy and see. We were also able to attend a prayer breakfast that inspired our faith. The speaker was amazing since he was 91and sharp as anyone after years of being thrown around by animals (bulls & cattle) as a clown in rodeos. He reminded us we are visitors on earth for the time God calls us to be here. He had so many encouraging reminders that we have heaven waiting and work to do now! He pointed out the Bible says nothing about retirement, but says if you are able but don't work you don't eat! Wow and he's 91! I was able to do all this since my children saw to it I had tickets for everything! Therefore the day was not only a blast and inspiring but it was free except for what I bought in the women's area! So you can see I cannot complain since this is just a little of how others show me love. God is good all the time!
In spite of these wonderful people in my life I do miss my marriage and husband. The other day I was thinking about why people need to be loved and seek happy marriage. It started at the beginning I realized. Genesis (the first book of the Bible) 2:18 The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Also many places throughout the Bible we see God comparing his people to a wife and He is the husband. God has given us marriage since He has created us in His image. He is a triune God - there is three parts - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - yet they are one. When we marry we are two very individual people who become one. Through marriage we see the tip of the iceberg of God's love for us. We understand how much it hurts when a husband or wife if unfaithful to one another. So too is God hurt if we turn away from Him and don't believe He exists or turn to false religions. The final comparison in the Bible is when Jesus comes again - The Father sends His Son to collect His bride the church. Oh what a joyous day a wedding is! We all get that don't we? I'm a romantic and I think this is the best of all - to be called the bride of Christ! I hope you do to and that you expect to be ready for your bridegroom. Remember a bride would never be caught on her wedding day without her wedding dress! Be ready! Matthew 25:13 "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or hour."
I hope you accept Jesus as your Savior and be ready for heaven!
Now you may wonder do I miss that sweet relationship? More than I ever imagined. I thought I could be strong and stand alone...... Wow is it hard but God has indeed been there for me. I cry often still which I know is healthy, but I also know I must move on with my life everyday. I have such wonderful things to do often, so that is not the problem. My children and grandchildren are ALWAYS there for me. My church family embraces me too, so that I can never say no one cares! It would be pitiful for me to face life thinking no one loved me! Just not true! Just yesterday my two married grandchildren shared their Valentine dinner with their grandmother taking me to Ruth's Chris for a yummy steak dinner when I know they are both on tight budgets. If you haven't heard of this restaurant all I can say is your missing something very special. This week I also was able to enjoy the World Ag Show in Tulare which is world renown. I love to go since it is filled with interesting things relating to farming (which happens to be our family life work) and they have a women's area that has all sorts of tempting items to buy and see. We were also able to attend a prayer breakfast that inspired our faith. The speaker was amazing since he was 91and sharp as anyone after years of being thrown around by animals (bulls & cattle) as a clown in rodeos. He reminded us we are visitors on earth for the time God calls us to be here. He had so many encouraging reminders that we have heaven waiting and work to do now! He pointed out the Bible says nothing about retirement, but says if you are able but don't work you don't eat! Wow and he's 91! I was able to do all this since my children saw to it I had tickets for everything! Therefore the day was not only a blast and inspiring but it was free except for what I bought in the women's area! So you can see I cannot complain since this is just a little of how others show me love. God is good all the time!
In spite of these wonderful people in my life I do miss my marriage and husband. The other day I was thinking about why people need to be loved and seek happy marriage. It started at the beginning I realized. Genesis (the first book of the Bible) 2:18 The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Also many places throughout the Bible we see God comparing his people to a wife and He is the husband. God has given us marriage since He has created us in His image. He is a triune God - there is three parts - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - yet they are one. When we marry we are two very individual people who become one. Through marriage we see the tip of the iceberg of God's love for us. We understand how much it hurts when a husband or wife if unfaithful to one another. So too is God hurt if we turn away from Him and don't believe He exists or turn to false religions. The final comparison in the Bible is when Jesus comes again - The Father sends His Son to collect His bride the church. Oh what a joyous day a wedding is! We all get that don't we? I'm a romantic and I think this is the best of all - to be called the bride of Christ! I hope you do to and that you expect to be ready for your bridegroom. Remember a bride would never be caught on her wedding day without her wedding dress! Be ready! Matthew 25:13 "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or hour."
I hope you accept Jesus as your Savior and be ready for heaven!
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Some Grimmius Family History
As I went over the blogs recently written I realized a very important story was left out. We have had so many events happen so quickly that you think you have already written about it when actually you did not. This event happened just before Christmas, December 13 to be exact. Tom's brother, John, was on a trip with his wife, Marlys, when she had a terrible fall that took her life. We were all pretty much in shock and could not believe just 11 weeks from Tom's death we were burying another family member. She was a strong Christian woman who loved the Lord all her life so we have the wonderful assurance that she too is skipping free in heaven. She had a bundle of health problems in recent years and actually throughout her life. Many surgeries that probably did not help keep her mind in tact. She suffered in recent years from dementia. This was one of the reasons she fell as she would become disorientated at times and she went the wrong direction and fell down a step into a wooden chair which caused her spleen to burst. Her bleeding could not be stopped and very quickly her life was gone. The family all live close to us which is very comforting for all of us. We have always known each other well but in recent years did a little more together again.
My first meeting of Tom's brother and sister in law was after Tom and I were dating a bit. They were at a family gathering at his parents house to check out Tom's serious girlfriend. It was a nervous time for me, but as far as I could tell I passed. Later I did hear that Tom's parents had to check with my sister Sharon's in-laws who were close friends of the Grimmius family to see is those Schoo girls were okay.
I have so many fond memories of going to John and Marlys' house every Sunday afternoon when Tom and I were dating. (They probably were sick of us but never complained) She always made the yummiest desserts! She was an excellent cook and after we were married my dear husband did not ask me to cook like his mom, but like Marlys. Tom and John were always the best of friends and through the years kept close. They moved to Visalia first where John eventually left the cattle business and started selling land for dairies and ranches. It was a great time for the land to sell in the Central Valley and John became well known as the Ranch CO. We moved up in 1973 and my husband worked with his Grimmius Cattle CO. Those boys both loved business and never tired of sharing time together about how things were going in various things in the Valley. They grew up around cattle so they enjoyed comparing women to heifers in their child baring years. I thought it was interesting how Tom could figure out if a woman would have a hard time in pregnancy or child baring by how she was built! Of course many women didn't really like the idea of being called a first calf heifer or 2nd and later an old cow! So they would talk about those things very quietly! We watched our children grow up together and spent many times at family celebrations when their parents were still alive. As the years passed and we both became empty nesters the family times were less because it became harder to get everyone together. During this time we did more just the four of us for dinner on occasion. Tom and John kept us their visits and phone calls though. In recent years we decided it would be fun to try once a year to get all the kids together again and remember the years past. Our children started some reconnecting, even though they never totally separated since there were always weddings or graduations or various times of get togethers. Since Tom's and Marlys' death we have to say there has been even more reconnecting. Cousins that always had fun together discovered there is something very special about blood relatives that never ends even when we go separate ways. It's been a blessing to reconnect in all of our sadness. When tears are shared there is a bond that never ends. Sharing our faith is also huge. We all look forward to the day we will be welcomed by our loved ones in HEAVEN.
We are promised: Revelation 21: 4 - 5
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
I know I am not alone in sadness as I am praying for so many going through really tough things! May we all turn to the ONE who has the answers, Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Now we must encourage each other to keep the faith and run our race till we reach the goal of our true HOME. I hope you are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN!
My first meeting of Tom's brother and sister in law was after Tom and I were dating a bit. They were at a family gathering at his parents house to check out Tom's serious girlfriend. It was a nervous time for me, but as far as I could tell I passed. Later I did hear that Tom's parents had to check with my sister Sharon's in-laws who were close friends of the Grimmius family to see is those Schoo girls were okay.
I have so many fond memories of going to John and Marlys' house every Sunday afternoon when Tom and I were dating. (They probably were sick of us but never complained) She always made the yummiest desserts! She was an excellent cook and after we were married my dear husband did not ask me to cook like his mom, but like Marlys. Tom and John were always the best of friends and through the years kept close. They moved to Visalia first where John eventually left the cattle business and started selling land for dairies and ranches. It was a great time for the land to sell in the Central Valley and John became well known as the Ranch CO. We moved up in 1973 and my husband worked with his Grimmius Cattle CO. Those boys both loved business and never tired of sharing time together about how things were going in various things in the Valley. They grew up around cattle so they enjoyed comparing women to heifers in their child baring years. I thought it was interesting how Tom could figure out if a woman would have a hard time in pregnancy or child baring by how she was built! Of course many women didn't really like the idea of being called a first calf heifer or 2nd and later an old cow! So they would talk about those things very quietly! We watched our children grow up together and spent many times at family celebrations when their parents were still alive. As the years passed and we both became empty nesters the family times were less because it became harder to get everyone together. During this time we did more just the four of us for dinner on occasion. Tom and John kept us their visits and phone calls though. In recent years we decided it would be fun to try once a year to get all the kids together again and remember the years past. Our children started some reconnecting, even though they never totally separated since there were always weddings or graduations or various times of get togethers. Since Tom's and Marlys' death we have to say there has been even more reconnecting. Cousins that always had fun together discovered there is something very special about blood relatives that never ends even when we go separate ways. It's been a blessing to reconnect in all of our sadness. When tears are shared there is a bond that never ends. Sharing our faith is also huge. We all look forward to the day we will be welcomed by our loved ones in HEAVEN.
We are promised: Revelation 21: 4 - 5
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true."
I know I am not alone in sadness as I am praying for so many going through really tough things! May we all turn to the ONE who has the answers, Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Now we must encourage each other to keep the faith and run our race till we reach the goal of our true HOME. I hope you are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN!
Monday, January 7, 2013
Children insights on Heaven
The last writing was one month ago already! Christmas went smoothly and I was able to have several adventures. Tom and I would travel out of town every Christmas since we always celebrated early with our children and grandchildren. We did this since our kids were small. It seemed we always had parents or others who wanted a visit then so we just made a habit of traveling around the Christmas holiday. The only Christmas I was in town here for the last 39 years was last year when we came back from Stanford and Tom was too sick to go away. I decided I needed to think of something to do so I booked a flight to Chicago where my youngest sister lives and visited her and her family for Christmas and New Year. First I drove to Tricia, my foster daughter, and spent the weekend with her and her husband. We celebrated Christmas and then they brought me to the airport and off I went. LA airport had a lot of memories for me so it was a little rough waiting for the plane. The flight was smooth and I made it to Chicago in great time. The weather there was perfect for this warm weather girl and my clothes were plenty warm. My sister and her husband have moved so often that Tom and I had never visited this home. It made it a whole new experience for me to work on new memories. All the ten days I was gone was filled with joy and love. Even the road trip did not make me too sad which I was thankful for and pleased about. Tom and I had traveled that road more times than I can count. To tell the truth I felt God's comfort in a special way on the road which was so needed - tears don't work well when one is driving. The traffic was normal for southern California so one must always be on ones toes and alert.
Here I am 3 months under my belt and it is still plenty difficult not to feel pain everyday. God is very good in giving me so many reminders of His love though. One thing is always before me and that is the hope of heaven. I love thinking about what my sweet man is up to and can't wait to see him again! This doesn't mean I am longing for death, instead it is like the verses in I Thessalonians 4:13 -18 which say, "Brothers (and sisters) we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep (we say die) or to grieve like the rest of people, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him. According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words." That's what I am excited for!
In the meantime I really want to live like this one woman I read about in a book called "Glimpses of Heaven" which was written by a Hospice nurse. This was a little story about her mother. "When Dad died in 1973 Mom was only 65 years old and had many very productive years ahead of her, during which time she traveled extensively and worked for the church in one capacity or another well into her 80's. She read her cherished books, taught herself to play more than 150 songs on the organ and loved her children and grandchildren dearly. She was fun, disciplined, tender, pretty, strongly determined, opinionated, ever prayerful, dependent on love, and she touched everyone she met with both her humanity and her deeply spiritual soul." I can identify with a lot of it, but most of all the fact that I am 66 and know I am healthy and could live a few more years. My prayer is I am an example to others in godliness and make the most of whatever time God gives me to bring Him glory.
The other night I had the joy of being able to have 5 of my grandchildren spend the night, ages 5 to 12. I love to hear their insights and listen to new songs or verses they are learning. Three of them are learning the book of Revelation through song which they sang for us. Another sang all the books of the New Testament. What a great way to learn difficult names and verses. This opened up a discussion on heaven since the book of Revelation is a story of John, a disciple of Jesus, seeing heaven. I love their thoughts! One asked, "Do you think we can do anything we want in heaven?" Another answered, "Well I don't think we will be able to smoke." Ha Ha pretty funny I thought but pretty perceptive too. Another question one had was, "Do you think heaven will be boring?" The answer from another child, "Well I think God made all the things we get to do now and surely heaven will be even better!" Needless to say I was pretty proud of their thoughts! From the mouth of babes as they say!
So I close these thoughts and I hope you have questions of heaven and go find the answers at your church in worship and spending time alone with God in His Word! That is how I handle my life with the overwhelming loss I have and I can say from experience it is so comforting!
I know I'm expected in heaven...................
Here I am 3 months under my belt and it is still plenty difficult not to feel pain everyday. God is very good in giving me so many reminders of His love though. One thing is always before me and that is the hope of heaven. I love thinking about what my sweet man is up to and can't wait to see him again! This doesn't mean I am longing for death, instead it is like the verses in I Thessalonians 4:13 -18 which say, "Brothers (and sisters) we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep (we say die) or to grieve like the rest of people, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him. According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words." That's what I am excited for!
In the meantime I really want to live like this one woman I read about in a book called "Glimpses of Heaven" which was written by a Hospice nurse. This was a little story about her mother. "When Dad died in 1973 Mom was only 65 years old and had many very productive years ahead of her, during which time she traveled extensively and worked for the church in one capacity or another well into her 80's. She read her cherished books, taught herself to play more than 150 songs on the organ and loved her children and grandchildren dearly. She was fun, disciplined, tender, pretty, strongly determined, opinionated, ever prayerful, dependent on love, and she touched everyone she met with both her humanity and her deeply spiritual soul." I can identify with a lot of it, but most of all the fact that I am 66 and know I am healthy and could live a few more years. My prayer is I am an example to others in godliness and make the most of whatever time God gives me to bring Him glory.
The other night I had the joy of being able to have 5 of my grandchildren spend the night, ages 5 to 12. I love to hear their insights and listen to new songs or verses they are learning. Three of them are learning the book of Revelation through song which they sang for us. Another sang all the books of the New Testament. What a great way to learn difficult names and verses. This opened up a discussion on heaven since the book of Revelation is a story of John, a disciple of Jesus, seeing heaven. I love their thoughts! One asked, "Do you think we can do anything we want in heaven?" Another answered, "Well I don't think we will be able to smoke." Ha Ha pretty funny I thought but pretty perceptive too. Another question one had was, "Do you think heaven will be boring?" The answer from another child, "Well I think God made all the things we get to do now and surely heaven will be even better!" Needless to say I was pretty proud of their thoughts! From the mouth of babes as they say!
So I close these thoughts and I hope you have questions of heaven and go find the answers at your church in worship and spending time alone with God in His Word! That is how I handle my life with the overwhelming loss I have and I can say from experience it is so comforting!
I know I'm expected in heaven...................
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