Vera & John
Here is our wedding album for those of you who would love to see our wedding pictures! It was a great day weather wise and all. We felt very blessed and loved. All you need to do to see the album is click on "Vera & John" above. We hope you enjoy the story they tell!
Friday, January 24, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
New Beginnings
Finally I'm taking some time to write! I noticed I have not written anything since November 20, 2013. Time certainly has a way of flying by, especially when life is good and there is plenty of happy things going on. Yes that is the feeling I've had the last few months - happiness. Is it because I never remember Tom or don't mourn his loss, no not at all. It is because I have great hope in Jesus and because He has given me a very wonderful new husband in John, Tom's brother. We share loss in the fact that we both lost our spouses, but we also share great faith in the hope we will see them again in heaven and feel daily the comfort only God can give us through the faith we have in Jesus. This has been our experience as well as the enjoyment of discovering new love together.
What have we been up to? Well after our marathon Thanksgiving Day with my family we went to southern California and celebrated Thanksgiving again with our foster daughter's family and also an early Christmas. Going back home we prepared for Christmas and had three parties - two at our house and one with John's family at his grandson's home. Then John and I took off for Alabama and another Christmas celebration with my sister's family which we finished in Nashville to celebrate the New Year. After all this we both felt so blessed to have a large family and have the health to travel to all these places and sound minds to socialize this often. We had some great adventures as my sister lost power in her house minutes before her Christmas dinner was cooked. It was able to finish with the heat still in the oven and the food was amazing. We enjoyed 3 1/2 hours by candlelight and flashlights eating and opening gifts. We were also thankful that day was not the 16 degrees that came a week later. Brrrr! John and I left the day before their 1 degree temperature in Nashville, it was only 18 degrees and we learned how to scape a windshield as well as deal with frozen water bottles but we made it to our flight on time and back to sunny California. Actually it's too sunny here! We are praying and praying for some rain. We really take for granted our power and water and food most of the time in America!
John and I never want to take our health for granted or life itself as we both know it can change in a flash. Three friends have lost their spouses this past year and we grieve anew with each one knowing just what they are going through. Two weeks ago John lost his last living sibling, his sweet sister Margie. Then the other day our foster family lost a very healthy father riding a bike and being hit by a car! Another widow alone and kids and grandkids without that special person in their lives! We know life is fragile and we believe we must handle with prayer. We need to cling to verses like 2 Corinthians 4:16 - 18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
I believe in Jesus, that He came to die for our wrongs to make us right with God and make us acceptable for heaven. He rose from the grave and after many people were eye witnesses to his coming back to life, they also saw Him ascend into heaven where He waits for the day He will come again to make a perfect Kingdom. Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
I don't know about you but I can't wait! It gives lots of hope for everyone who has gone through sickness and death.
May you all have this wonderful hope of being expected in heaven!
What have we been up to? Well after our marathon Thanksgiving Day with my family we went to southern California and celebrated Thanksgiving again with our foster daughter's family and also an early Christmas. Going back home we prepared for Christmas and had three parties - two at our house and one with John's family at his grandson's home. Then John and I took off for Alabama and another Christmas celebration with my sister's family which we finished in Nashville to celebrate the New Year. After all this we both felt so blessed to have a large family and have the health to travel to all these places and sound minds to socialize this often. We had some great adventures as my sister lost power in her house minutes before her Christmas dinner was cooked. It was able to finish with the heat still in the oven and the food was amazing. We enjoyed 3 1/2 hours by candlelight and flashlights eating and opening gifts. We were also thankful that day was not the 16 degrees that came a week later. Brrrr! John and I left the day before their 1 degree temperature in Nashville, it was only 18 degrees and we learned how to scape a windshield as well as deal with frozen water bottles but we made it to our flight on time and back to sunny California. Actually it's too sunny here! We are praying and praying for some rain. We really take for granted our power and water and food most of the time in America!
John and I never want to take our health for granted or life itself as we both know it can change in a flash. Three friends have lost their spouses this past year and we grieve anew with each one knowing just what they are going through. Two weeks ago John lost his last living sibling, his sweet sister Margie. Then the other day our foster family lost a very healthy father riding a bike and being hit by a car! Another widow alone and kids and grandkids without that special person in their lives! We know life is fragile and we believe we must handle with prayer. We need to cling to verses like 2 Corinthians 4:16 - 18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
I believe in Jesus, that He came to die for our wrongs to make us right with God and make us acceptable for heaven. He rose from the grave and after many people were eye witnesses to his coming back to life, they also saw Him ascend into heaven where He waits for the day He will come again to make a perfect Kingdom. Revelation 21:4 "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."
I don't know about you but I can't wait! It gives lots of hope for everyone who has gone through sickness and death.
May you all have this wonderful hope of being expected in heaven!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Married again!!
"God is the God of divine reversals. He can glean good out of evil: His master plan brings victory out of apparent defeat. Come to Jesus just as you are - wounded from battle - and expose your wounds to His healing light. You need to spend ample time with Jesus, opening yourself fully to His living Presence..... When you experience a divine reversal in your life, you are thrilled to observe how masterfully I operate in the world. Your suffering gains meaning because you know I can - and do - bring good out of evil. Ultimately, His plans will not be thwarted. He has the last word! As you see how utterly beyond you is His wisdom and ways, you get a glimpse of Jesus Glory. As you open your soul to Jesus in worship, you gain assurance of His unfailing Love."
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:1
This is part of my devotion for today from the Jesus Lives book by Sarah Young. I shared it with you because I couldn't help think it was a good application to the changes my own life has experienced.
Many of you have kept up with me for the last two years first on care pages watching my husband Tom and I go through the terrible illness of acute leukemia. Then continuing to follow my walk after he passed away in September of 2012. Many of you know that his brother lost his wife a few weeks after Tom passed away. We walked together as families in sorrow and were there for each other for comfort since both our families have lived in the same town together for over 40 years and known each other for 50 years. Many friends and family were therefore not surprised when John and I started dating. We were, but it seemed everyone else was just cheering us on in the sidelines.
October 28, just three weeks and four days ago John and I knew we were ready to say "I do love you too". We both know that just because we knew we loved each other the love for our first spouse does not go away or the grief. We are thankful for the learning we were able to do together over the last year as we comforted each other and did studies on grief together, which really helped to get to know each other in special ways. After these beginning weeks of marriage we feel so very blessed and have enjoyed so much together! We were married with family and a couple dear friends who played an important part in our getting together. We were delighted with three pastors who helped to marry us as the beautiful Koetsier Ranch. They filled our time with laughter as they joked about what our children would call us now, with uncles and aunts becoming mom and dad or grandpa and grandma and cousins becoming sisters and brothers!! It can be confusing indeed when we introduce one another. It has been a bit of a whirlwind to say the least in the last two years with a tremendous amount of sadness to be followed with a great measure of hope and comfort and happiness. The above devotion says so well what God often does in our lives to give us hope to carry on. He doesn't always do this in the same way that is for sure. John and I were both so surprised that our spouses passed away so close together and then that we found such warm friendship together. I can speak for both of us that we went into marriage with a little fear and trepidation because to start over - even with someone you've known all your life - can be very frightening after 48 and 53 years with others. God is so good and since we share alike faith in our sweet Lord and Savior we know this is a huge reason we get along so well. I feel for myself I have so much happiness back in my life. A dear one to share all the ups and downs of life and spend time sharing and talking with no empty house or bed to come home to.
We both know that this life is very short and someday we will have to face grief again - death can't be escaped. It is why we place much treasure in our heavenly bank! Without it we would not have the hope we do, to see our spouses again or be "expected in heaven".
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:1
This is part of my devotion for today from the Jesus Lives book by Sarah Young. I shared it with you because I couldn't help think it was a good application to the changes my own life has experienced.
Many of you have kept up with me for the last two years first on care pages watching my husband Tom and I go through the terrible illness of acute leukemia. Then continuing to follow my walk after he passed away in September of 2012. Many of you know that his brother lost his wife a few weeks after Tom passed away. We walked together as families in sorrow and were there for each other for comfort since both our families have lived in the same town together for over 40 years and known each other for 50 years. Many friends and family were therefore not surprised when John and I started dating. We were, but it seemed everyone else was just cheering us on in the sidelines.
October 28, just three weeks and four days ago John and I knew we were ready to say "I do love you too". We both know that just because we knew we loved each other the love for our first spouse does not go away or the grief. We are thankful for the learning we were able to do together over the last year as we comforted each other and did studies on grief together, which really helped to get to know each other in special ways. After these beginning weeks of marriage we feel so very blessed and have enjoyed so much together! We were married with family and a couple dear friends who played an important part in our getting together. We were delighted with three pastors who helped to marry us as the beautiful Koetsier Ranch. They filled our time with laughter as they joked about what our children would call us now, with uncles and aunts becoming mom and dad or grandpa and grandma and cousins becoming sisters and brothers!! It can be confusing indeed when we introduce one another. It has been a bit of a whirlwind to say the least in the last two years with a tremendous amount of sadness to be followed with a great measure of hope and comfort and happiness. The above devotion says so well what God often does in our lives to give us hope to carry on. He doesn't always do this in the same way that is for sure. John and I were both so surprised that our spouses passed away so close together and then that we found such warm friendship together. I can speak for both of us that we went into marriage with a little fear and trepidation because to start over - even with someone you've known all your life - can be very frightening after 48 and 53 years with others. God is so good and since we share alike faith in our sweet Lord and Savior we know this is a huge reason we get along so well. I feel for myself I have so much happiness back in my life. A dear one to share all the ups and downs of life and spend time sharing and talking with no empty house or bed to come home to.
We both know that this life is very short and someday we will have to face grief again - death can't be escaped. It is why we place much treasure in our heavenly bank! Without it we would not have the hope we do, to see our spouses again or be "expected in heaven".
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Expected in Heaven - Are You Sure???
This past weekend I had an awesome privilege to speak to about 40 women at a retreat center in Seabeck, WA. The topic I chose was (you guessed it) "Expected in Heaven"! I should say God chose it since I felt so much of this weekend was God's doing. The only reason or maybe the main reason I was asked to do this was because of my past two year walk with my husband's illness and death and the way God moved in my heart as well as my husband to share what we were going through together and later me walking alone with God.
God is totally in charge of my life and I know I must surrender it to Him and trust so I can be a much happier person. I admit I tend to be a worrier so when I was asked to speak I felt VERY inadequate. God kept making me feel like it was the right thing to do and showed me through a study of 1&2 Corinthians that was letters of Paul filled with great info to teach on. I spent the year digging into those letters as well as lots of scripture that supports Paul's teaching.
I discovered Paul felt the same way, when writing to believers, as I did when I found I Corinthians 2:1-5. Here is how those verses read in my mind: "When I come to you, sisters, I do not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaim the testimony about God. For I resolve to know nothing while I am with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I come in weakness and fear and with much trembling. My message and my preaching are not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on a woman's wisdom, but on God's power."
Now back home the blessings of the weekend keep showing up. God blessed us with several women who had also lost loved ones in death. There were others having to deal with the struggles life often brings our way. Our weekend taught us that the sufferings we have teach us that blessings can come out of tears. What happens when we turn to God with those sufferings is that He comforts us and then we in turn can comfort others who go through the same thing! 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 teach us that.
Another very important fact I know the Bible teaches us is we can be very SURE we are expected in heaven when we know the way. That is why I chose to do sessions on Sin, Salvation, and Service. We must realize we are sinners in order to know we need a Savior. Jesus is that Savior who loves us so much that He died for us and rose again. We need to realize He has paid the price for sin and His love is a FREE gift for us to receive! The service part comes in out of gratitude not out of trying to earn anything. It comes naturally since we love our Savior and want to live for Him because of what He did for us.
Today I happen to know someone had the privilege to lead someone else to Jesus!! What a blessing! The question came up from this person - what if a family member does not believe in Jesus will I see them in heaven? This is such a hard question and often gets Christians in a lot of trouble, but which is worse to tell someone a lie and they end up in hell because we did not want to make them feel bad?? In the Bible Jesus clearly teaches He is the only way to Heaven. He is a free gift we can choose to receive or we can say we don't really need Him because we would rather try to work our way to heaven on our own merit. The devil wants us to believe that we need to be our own gods and work our way to heaven. He still deceives like he deceived Eve! (Genesis 3:3-5) God did not REALLY say you would die if you eat the fruit He said not to, it will only make you wiser and you will be LIKE God!! Today Satan likes to deceive the same way by saying Jesus isn't REALLY the only way to heaven, surly your life is good enough or this other religion that has such good teachings about works is a good way to go. Look closely at John 14:1-7, John 10:9-11, John 5:24, John 3:16-21. If you read the whole book of John you can't miss the fact that Jesus claims to be God - part of the God head - He is the Son who the Father sent to save us sinners. We don't deserve such love but He gives it freely and when we receive it and believe Jesus is God and He is our Lord and Savior we can KNOW that we are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN!!
I hope all who read this and don't believe check out the Bible! All of you who do believe don't be deceived that there is any other way to be saved! Be a strong witness to the truth and don't be afraid to speak it clearly! Remember when you believe you are God's child and you are then a child of the King of Kings!! You are a true Prince and Princess and are expected in heaven!!
God is totally in charge of my life and I know I must surrender it to Him and trust so I can be a much happier person. I admit I tend to be a worrier so when I was asked to speak I felt VERY inadequate. God kept making me feel like it was the right thing to do and showed me through a study of 1&2 Corinthians that was letters of Paul filled with great info to teach on. I spent the year digging into those letters as well as lots of scripture that supports Paul's teaching.
I discovered Paul felt the same way, when writing to believers, as I did when I found I Corinthians 2:1-5. Here is how those verses read in my mind: "When I come to you, sisters, I do not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaim the testimony about God. For I resolve to know nothing while I am with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I come in weakness and fear and with much trembling. My message and my preaching are not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on a woman's wisdom, but on God's power."
Now back home the blessings of the weekend keep showing up. God blessed us with several women who had also lost loved ones in death. There were others having to deal with the struggles life often brings our way. Our weekend taught us that the sufferings we have teach us that blessings can come out of tears. What happens when we turn to God with those sufferings is that He comforts us and then we in turn can comfort others who go through the same thing! 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 teach us that.
Another very important fact I know the Bible teaches us is we can be very SURE we are expected in heaven when we know the way. That is why I chose to do sessions on Sin, Salvation, and Service. We must realize we are sinners in order to know we need a Savior. Jesus is that Savior who loves us so much that He died for us and rose again. We need to realize He has paid the price for sin and His love is a FREE gift for us to receive! The service part comes in out of gratitude not out of trying to earn anything. It comes naturally since we love our Savior and want to live for Him because of what He did for us.
Today I happen to know someone had the privilege to lead someone else to Jesus!! What a blessing! The question came up from this person - what if a family member does not believe in Jesus will I see them in heaven? This is such a hard question and often gets Christians in a lot of trouble, but which is worse to tell someone a lie and they end up in hell because we did not want to make them feel bad?? In the Bible Jesus clearly teaches He is the only way to Heaven. He is a free gift we can choose to receive or we can say we don't really need Him because we would rather try to work our way to heaven on our own merit. The devil wants us to believe that we need to be our own gods and work our way to heaven. He still deceives like he deceived Eve! (Genesis 3:3-5) God did not REALLY say you would die if you eat the fruit He said not to, it will only make you wiser and you will be LIKE God!! Today Satan likes to deceive the same way by saying Jesus isn't REALLY the only way to heaven, surly your life is good enough or this other religion that has such good teachings about works is a good way to go. Look closely at John 14:1-7, John 10:9-11, John 5:24, John 3:16-21. If you read the whole book of John you can't miss the fact that Jesus claims to be God - part of the God head - He is the Son who the Father sent to save us sinners. We don't deserve such love but He gives it freely and when we receive it and believe Jesus is God and He is our Lord and Savior we can KNOW that we are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN!!
I hope all who read this and don't believe check out the Bible! All of you who do believe don't be deceived that there is any other way to be saved! Be a strong witness to the truth and don't be afraid to speak it clearly! Remember when you believe you are God's child and you are then a child of the King of Kings!! You are a true Prince and Princess and are expected in heaven!!
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
The Best Love Story of All....
It has been awhile since I last wrote to announce my engagement to my husband's brother John. We were engaged as of June 28, 2013 and have been very busy since, with our lives that never seem to slow down. We are glad though to stay involved with work, volunteering, church, and home life. We are squeezing planning our wedding in between all this. The date is set for October 26 and it is speeding closer. I think everyone can get nervous before a big event that is life changing and we are no different. We both were married for many years and losing those spouses in death was traumatic enough. Now to begin over again at times can seem a bit overwhelming. I personally can have some very strong, sure days and then I get hit with grief as well as fear of the future. God is amazing through all this and one day He gave me this that I hope blesses you as it did me:
My grace is sufficient for you, but it's sufficiency is for one day at a time. That's why it is essential for you to learn how to live in the present.
Your mind so easily slips into the future, where worries abound. You also spend way too much time analyzing the past. Meanwhile, splendors of the present moment parade before you, and you don't even notice. Part of the problem is your tendency to strive for self-sufficiency. I will help you learn to rest in My sufficiency, depending on Me more and more.
You need My grace in order to live in the present. Grace is all about My provision for you, but accepting that goes against the grain of your natural tendencies. Each day you face a number of situations requiring My help. Moment by moment I proffer to you the needed assistance. Your part is to recognize you neediness and receive what I offer.
My Presence is with you always, providing everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow's needs. My sufficiency is for a day at a time--today!
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:5
And God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
From: "Jesus Lives" by Sarah Young and the Bible NIV version
I know the above information well since for the last two years I have experienced it so many times! God takes care of me every time I cry out to Him and always leads me where He wants me to be but only day at a time. I was thinking this morning how God's ways (which you discover by reading and studying the Bible) make so much sense! Nothing in this world we learn fits life like God and His word! I mean nothing! We all have trouble in this life, there is no escaping it, but God is there for us waiting with all the answers we need (even if they are not always what we like). Now that I have experienced life and death with the loss of someone so close to me, I know even more surely that my ONLY COMFORT in life and in death is Jesus! He is the way to the certainty that after death there is still life! How awesome is that!! I expect to see Tom again and John expects to see Marlys again and we both expect to see all those who followed Jesus and His promises! And best of all we will be expected by Jesus our faithful Lord and Savior!
John and I have a sweet love story now but the best love story of all is Jesus and His love for us! I hope all who read this are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN!!
My grace is sufficient for you, but it's sufficiency is for one day at a time. That's why it is essential for you to learn how to live in the present.
Your mind so easily slips into the future, where worries abound. You also spend way too much time analyzing the past. Meanwhile, splendors of the present moment parade before you, and you don't even notice. Part of the problem is your tendency to strive for self-sufficiency. I will help you learn to rest in My sufficiency, depending on Me more and more.
You need My grace in order to live in the present. Grace is all about My provision for you, but accepting that goes against the grain of your natural tendencies. Each day you face a number of situations requiring My help. Moment by moment I proffer to you the needed assistance. Your part is to recognize you neediness and receive what I offer.
My Presence is with you always, providing everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow's needs. My sufficiency is for a day at a time--today!
But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9
Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:5
And God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34
From: "Jesus Lives" by Sarah Young and the Bible NIV version
I know the above information well since for the last two years I have experienced it so many times! God takes care of me every time I cry out to Him and always leads me where He wants me to be but only day at a time. I was thinking this morning how God's ways (which you discover by reading and studying the Bible) make so much sense! Nothing in this world we learn fits life like God and His word! I mean nothing! We all have trouble in this life, there is no escaping it, but God is there for us waiting with all the answers we need (even if they are not always what we like). Now that I have experienced life and death with the loss of someone so close to me, I know even more surely that my ONLY COMFORT in life and in death is Jesus! He is the way to the certainty that after death there is still life! How awesome is that!! I expect to see Tom again and John expects to see Marlys again and we both expect to see all those who followed Jesus and His promises! And best of all we will be expected by Jesus our faithful Lord and Savior!
John and I have a sweet love story now but the best love story of all is Jesus and His love for us! I hope all who read this are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN!!
Sunday, July 14, 2013
The Engagement
"Things are not the way they are supposed to be." A phrase Pastor Joel used in his message this morning to make a point about how sin has affected all of life. He applied it to becoming ill when not expected and having to let go of loved ones sooner than we expected. John and I could relate to that thought so easily since we lost our spouses. It has been a journey for us both that holds with it lots of ups and downs. We are often reminded whether by a sermon or reading God's Word, or reading the devotion book we are doing together on grief that God has a plan and truly can work all things for our good. This does not mean we never cry or get hit with memories that make us smile or tear up. This means we trust that God will help us walk in His will and way as we find open doors and encouragement from our family and others to continue our new love relationship. God has been so amazing in showing us how to love again and giving us courage to do so. Courage you say? Courage indeed to love again after 53 and 48 years of being married to other spouses with children and grandchildren who are very used to that person being with us. Therefore we have spent the last 4 months realizing we wanted to get to know each other better and taking the time to get closer to each others families. This took (and still does) some doing to spend time with families separately and altogether so they can express their feelings of seeing us together. We have had some awesome time of laughing and crying with all of them. I think my favorite time was when John asked for my hand in marriage from our foster daughter, Tricia and her husband Steve when we went down south as well as my 4 children with their spouses here in Visalia. Tony brought humor into the evening by having a voting ballot with some very funny statements on it. :-) We have received blessings from all and also from the grandchildren. John and I felt it was very important to have family on board for this huge change in everyone's life.
Many have asked where will we live. Well my house is in a perfect spot and John is very excited to move here with me. This makes my family happy and I think his family is fine with that decision as well. Our wedding date is set for October 26 of this year and we plan to invite only family and make it a sweet celebration of about 80 or so by the time all the relatives near and far are invited.
John and I thank God for the response of our church family. Tom and I and John and Marlys have lived in this community for over 40 years. So many people know these brothers as well as Marlys and I who were involved in our churches and community. It brings a lot of joy to John and I that many of our church family and friends in community have been so happy for us as we have made our engagement known. There is a certain amount of fear that people won't like it since we are replacing, so to speak, a couple of very special people in our lives. I know that God has directed our love to be given to each other and be able to share whatever time He calls us to live on His earth before going home!
John and I have come through several months of talking before deciding this is what we wanted for our lives. It may seem like this was easy to decide but I can say, no it wasn't. How did it began? Well I started it, I confess, since I felt the need after realizing how lonely life can be if one does not make plans for some social times with others. Men just don't have the advantages women do with social outings. Anyway Jeanie, John's daughter, told me sometime in January that John had gone out for dinner alone. I immediately told John, "Don't do that! If you want to go out just call me! I'll go with you!" After I told him that I thought, "Oh dear! What have I done! That was a little forward of me!" I did feel totally safe about it though since I trusted John completely and enjoyed being with him! Never the less I felt I may have overstepped my boundaries which can be my middle name at times! I decided I was safe in the end since he probably wouldn't call me anyway! Wrong - he waited a day and then asked me to go to dinner on Thursday, it was Tuesday when he called. We had such a fun evening talking and talking. Then the following weekend John's sister, who lives in Ripon, became very ill and was not expected to live very long. It hit John pretty hard and of course he wanted to visit her. I felt it was not wise for him to travel alone so I volunteered to go with him to keep him company for the day. Tom and I had often gone to visit her so I too wanted to see her if she wasn't going to survive long. Again we found so much to talk about and the trip flew by. John decided to ask a very thought provoking question, "Do you think I should marry again?" Me thinking - "Wh-at I'm not quite rea-dy for that thought!" Me speaking, 'Well I guess you have to do what is right for you." Me thinking again - "I had too nice of a time with this man to let him to chase after other women yet!" Me saying, "Ummm I wouldn't mind us "talking" as young kids call it." After saying that the next day I realized he may not have meant he wanted to "talk" to me so I called and apologized for assuming he might wish to talk to me! I also said I would be glad to set him up with some very nice ladies I knew! It was his turn to stutter and say he WAS interested in talking to me more! We began talking so much on our cell phones at night both our children noticed our bills changed which came through our businesses! They were suddenly showing way more minutes than normal. Needless to say we had to confess and get unlimited minute plans. By Easter we realized we were ready to let more people know about a relationship which had gone from talking to dating. And on June 28 John asked me if I had a day I could give him 4 or 5 hours of time. It was about 105 that day and he looked for the coolest place which was the mountains. He booked lunch at the Wuksachi Lodge in the Peaks restaurant in the Sequoia National Park and during lunch he asked me if I would marry him. It was a very sweet time of realizing how we had grown in a special love that God granted us. We were very sure it was a God led thing since it was a complete surprise to us both. Neither one of us expected more than a dear friendship when we first began and there were plenty of bumps in the road of talking and dating since I had my share of insecure feelings. The thing that changed me was a feeling that if I did not make up my mind that I was really sure I would have to say goodbye. When I faced that truthfully I realized I did not want to lose him and cried for most of the morning working through the feelings.
Well that's the best way I can describe our love story. We both realize just because we found new love does not mean old love disappears or the grief that goes with it. We expect tears to come from time to time. We have found don't measure love by the grief we feel, but just cry it out and receive the peace only God can give in order to move on. God has answered so many prayers already that He won't stop now! We realize He has many surprises for us on our road of life that leads to being "Expected in Heaven"! The Love Story continues.....................
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Changes
"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:4-5
A great verse to start my day along with the advice to - "He (God through His Spirit) will not help you go backward, so beware of seeking refuge in the past. You need to keep moving forward......" I find that in my reading and devotion time, this advice is often given. It has helped me as life is so different and sometimes I just want to go back and wish I could still be in that place I loved and enjoyed with a very dear man.
It is 8 months already and things are changing. The tears don't come as often, but still can surprise me at odd times when I least expect. I have learned that it is good to cry so the sadness is able to get out and I can go on in God's strength. I have also learned God wants me to live the life He gives me and be open to the changes. Every day there can be a lot of changes. Living alone is never that great when life was shared with another for so long. I have a great group of grandkids who live close that don't allow too much opportunity for loneliness though. Sundays and weekends are full of activities not to mention the ministry I enjoy during the week. My children and grandchildren and others seem to call often so I have an incredible amount of fun things to do. Like go to Disneyland and use my year pass plenty!!
My biggest change - a boyfriend!! All I can say is this was not supposed to happen! I was quite determined to live alone and enjoy life with family and friends! I guess you can say God had other plans. I know I told you that my sister-in-law passed away a few short weeks after Tom. I felt the need to encourage my brother-in-law, John, making sure he did not become a hermit. I knew how lonely weekends could feel if you did not get together with family after church or do some things with friends during the week. Women so often are the social planners so I took it upon myself to invite him to gatherings with friends and family. I did not realize this would inspire friendship and sharing together in a way that would lead to caring so deeply. Silly me........ Anyway we announced to our family first when we discovered we might care a little more than just friends about each other. A few weeks ago we told others. So I was ready to blog it and admit I am enjoying having a relationship with a man.
There are so many feelings that go with allowing someone else in your life - is this okay? Is it God's will for you? What will my family think? What will others think? I loved my husband so much how can I love another?? I can tell you our families were so important to us both and how they felt. We have a big advantage since they have known and loved their uncle as long as we have been married and we always lived close. It was still a VERY big change for all of us and we have spent hours talking on the phone and in person about these changes. Praying over as well as thinking about what we might be ready for. Time will tell..... One thing that was helpful were some things we both read in a book called "The Color of Rain". It was about a couple who had lost spouses and what they went through and how they met and married. The one thing that helped me was when one of their children was struggling over loving another possible mother. The woman who was going to be the new mother asked her if she was feeling guilty about loving another mother. The girl said yes. She then told her that her own mother had helped her one day by saying when we have more than one child we don't stop loving the first one we just grow another heart to love the next child. This was a big help to me also, and John, as we know how much we both loved our spouses and that doesn't go away. We are learning it is possible to love another and go forward in life.
That's the news for now and as John and I go forward we realize this:
"The length of our days is seventy or eighty if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away" Psalm 90:10
Therefore we must "Dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty and say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2
God has given us a short time on this earth to love and be loved and be an example of how to love with His love while we have time to do so. We look forward to life as long as God grants it and then know we are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN with our loved ones one day!
A great verse to start my day along with the advice to - "He (God through His Spirit) will not help you go backward, so beware of seeking refuge in the past. You need to keep moving forward......" I find that in my reading and devotion time, this advice is often given. It has helped me as life is so different and sometimes I just want to go back and wish I could still be in that place I loved and enjoyed with a very dear man.
It is 8 months already and things are changing. The tears don't come as often, but still can surprise me at odd times when I least expect. I have learned that it is good to cry so the sadness is able to get out and I can go on in God's strength. I have also learned God wants me to live the life He gives me and be open to the changes. Every day there can be a lot of changes. Living alone is never that great when life was shared with another for so long. I have a great group of grandkids who live close that don't allow too much opportunity for loneliness though. Sundays and weekends are full of activities not to mention the ministry I enjoy during the week. My children and grandchildren and others seem to call often so I have an incredible amount of fun things to do. Like go to Disneyland and use my year pass plenty!!
My biggest change - a boyfriend!! All I can say is this was not supposed to happen! I was quite determined to live alone and enjoy life with family and friends! I guess you can say God had other plans. I know I told you that my sister-in-law passed away a few short weeks after Tom. I felt the need to encourage my brother-in-law, John, making sure he did not become a hermit. I knew how lonely weekends could feel if you did not get together with family after church or do some things with friends during the week. Women so often are the social planners so I took it upon myself to invite him to gatherings with friends and family. I did not realize this would inspire friendship and sharing together in a way that would lead to caring so deeply. Silly me........ Anyway we announced to our family first when we discovered we might care a little more than just friends about each other. A few weeks ago we told others. So I was ready to blog it and admit I am enjoying having a relationship with a man.
There are so many feelings that go with allowing someone else in your life - is this okay? Is it God's will for you? What will my family think? What will others think? I loved my husband so much how can I love another?? I can tell you our families were so important to us both and how they felt. We have a big advantage since they have known and loved their uncle as long as we have been married and we always lived close. It was still a VERY big change for all of us and we have spent hours talking on the phone and in person about these changes. Praying over as well as thinking about what we might be ready for. Time will tell..... One thing that was helpful were some things we both read in a book called "The Color of Rain". It was about a couple who had lost spouses and what they went through and how they met and married. The one thing that helped me was when one of their children was struggling over loving another possible mother. The woman who was going to be the new mother asked her if she was feeling guilty about loving another mother. The girl said yes. She then told her that her own mother had helped her one day by saying when we have more than one child we don't stop loving the first one we just grow another heart to love the next child. This was a big help to me also, and John, as we know how much we both loved our spouses and that doesn't go away. We are learning it is possible to love another and go forward in life.
That's the news for now and as John and I go forward we realize this:
"The length of our days is seventy or eighty if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away" Psalm 90:10
Therefore we must "Dwell in the shelter of the Most High and rest in the shadow of the Almighty and say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust." Psalm 91:1-2
God has given us a short time on this earth to love and be loved and be an example of how to love with His love while we have time to do so. We look forward to life as long as God grants it and then know we are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN with our loved ones one day!
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