Do I focus on God or do I have self pity in my grief and loss? Sometimes I get very sick of being alone and badly miss the things I loved doing with my sweet husband, but then I ask myself --- Is life all about me? This morning I read a devotion from my favorite (yet most challenging) devotion book, "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers. Again I was so struck with the thought that life IS often about me and what I have to handle for the day - whether it be my grief or the ministry I think God wants me to do, or what I have to do with family or friends. (None of these bad things mind you) but then I read the scripture from John 3 where John the Baptist speaks of his becoming less and Jesus becoming greater. That was John's goal in life to lead others to the Messiah. He called himself the friend of the bridegroom and has great joy as he waits and listens for him. It is all about serving the bridegroom (Jesus) because the bride (all believers) belong to the bridegroom.
Oswald warns that if we only make ourselves look great because of what Christ has done for us we fail as people will look at us and say, "Oh, what a fine person that man or woman is!" When we do this we ourselves are increasing not the bridegroom - Jesus! Oswald states the only way we can avoid this way of thinking is focus on having a moral and vital relationship to Jesus above everything else. If we are maintaining this relationship the rest of our Christian walk will flow the way it should.
Wow this is very hard to live out in daily life. It takes a constant thought process to focus away from me and look to adoring my Savior so I allow Him to have His way. It's frightening even to really let go of my life and let God have full control. I Corinthians 9:24-27 is an awesome text giving an example of this thought. This text reminds me that it takes time to do something well. You can't expect to be an athlete without strict training - we can't be God's vessel without beating our body (and mind) to be God's adoring child, relaxing in His arms so in the end we will win the prize!
Salvation is a free gift of God we don't work for it Christ has done that on the cross (Easter message) - we just simply believe, and because of this we adore and worship Him. This morning I was thinking we are still sons and daughters of Adam and Eve and we would rather eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil than the Tree of Life! I got to thinking did God say they couldn't eat from the Tree of Life before sin entered? I discovered the answer is NO (read Genesis 2)! The only tree they could not eat from was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They were banned from the Tree of Life (Genesis 3) after they fell into sin so they wouldn't live forever in this sinful state! Personally I think they didn't even bother to eat from it before they were tempted to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I feel we are still the same we want to take from good and evil and not take the LIFE God offers freely because we want CONTROL.... I confess that is often my reason when I'm honest with myself.
These are my thoughts for this time of waiting in expectation for my home in heaven (where the Tree of Life will be - Revelation 22) and the prize will be to hear: "Well done good and faithful servant".
Saturday, March 25, 2017
Sunday, January 8, 2017
Pilgrimage
October 30 was my last post, how time flies! This is definitely a good thing as walking through sadness can be rough at times, so when time flies I love it. A favorite book of mine on widowhood spoke of losing ones soul mate (husband) after many years can be one of the hardest things in life to endure. I'll have to agree, and losing two husbands has tested me greatly, but also gave me strength I didn't realize I possessed.
Thanksgiving and Christmas as well as New Years holidays have passed by with much to be thankful for! Lots of parties and even weddings as well as a trip with my daughters to New Port Beach and their families! I roomed with 5 young women, 2 granddaughters and 3 significant others of my grandsons. What fun it was for me to share time like this with part of my family. I had so many fun get-togethers with family, when I counted them up I had had 5 different family Christmas parties and numerous other fun times with them all. 12 of us were able to go to Disney's California Adventure and we stayed together all day! There was also a wedding in Alabama with my sister's family and one at home with my daughter's in-laws! I felt very blessed, not to mention about 6 more parties and outings with friends! Yes, I felt a bit social these past two months!
I enjoy letting all of you know I have a good life, that God is watching over, with much to do. Even though there is sadness over loss there is not loneliness. I don't have the excuse to say I'm lonely as anytime I feel the need I can call a family member or friend to do something with. The sadness comes in with the fact that the loved one I enjoyed so much with is no longer here. I ask myself often - now Vera how do you face this loss and sadness that can pop up at the worst of times. When one least expects tears just come, it's ok to cry and even good for me, but I don't like to in the middle of the grocery store or any number of other public places! I dislike making people uncomfortable! Enough on that subject - but how do we coup with hardships in life that come our way?
I recently read an article about taking a pilgrimage. A pilgrimage is not a vacation it is a journey which is supposed to teach lessons of Godly dependence. I have had the privilege to take a couple of these kinds of trips. They were not what you call fun, they involved hiking over rough terrane, for me I seemed to fall a time or two (so embarrassing). Also I would do things that might need confession on my part or forgiving others. The point is as I pondered these things, I decided life is like this. It is filled with things we don't always like to do or places we don't want to be, yet we have no control whatever over where God will call us to walk. We can either walk with grace, confession, and forgiveness along the way or we can complain and grumble and make the world around us miserable. That is my goal to walk where God has asked me to walk with His Grace, assurance, trust and be certain that one day everything will be perfect! My family will be altogether never to have to part again! Hurrah!!! A pilgrimage I think is keeping our eyes on the goal and know that no matter how hard the journey one day it will all be worth it!
"Now my heart is troubled, but what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour? No it was for this very reason I came to this hour! Father glorify your name!" John 12:27-28a
This verse has become a theme verse for me. A great one to come to mind as I walk my pilgrimage. I hope it gives you some grace and hope to walk where God calls you to walk!
Thanksgiving and Christmas as well as New Years holidays have passed by with much to be thankful for! Lots of parties and even weddings as well as a trip with my daughters to New Port Beach and their families! I roomed with 5 young women, 2 granddaughters and 3 significant others of my grandsons. What fun it was for me to share time like this with part of my family. I had so many fun get-togethers with family, when I counted them up I had had 5 different family Christmas parties and numerous other fun times with them all. 12 of us were able to go to Disney's California Adventure and we stayed together all day! There was also a wedding in Alabama with my sister's family and one at home with my daughter's in-laws! I felt very blessed, not to mention about 6 more parties and outings with friends! Yes, I felt a bit social these past two months!
I enjoy letting all of you know I have a good life, that God is watching over, with much to do. Even though there is sadness over loss there is not loneliness. I don't have the excuse to say I'm lonely as anytime I feel the need I can call a family member or friend to do something with. The sadness comes in with the fact that the loved one I enjoyed so much with is no longer here. I ask myself often - now Vera how do you face this loss and sadness that can pop up at the worst of times. When one least expects tears just come, it's ok to cry and even good for me, but I don't like to in the middle of the grocery store or any number of other public places! I dislike making people uncomfortable! Enough on that subject - but how do we coup with hardships in life that come our way?
I recently read an article about taking a pilgrimage. A pilgrimage is not a vacation it is a journey which is supposed to teach lessons of Godly dependence. I have had the privilege to take a couple of these kinds of trips. They were not what you call fun, they involved hiking over rough terrane, for me I seemed to fall a time or two (so embarrassing). Also I would do things that might need confession on my part or forgiving others. The point is as I pondered these things, I decided life is like this. It is filled with things we don't always like to do or places we don't want to be, yet we have no control whatever over where God will call us to walk. We can either walk with grace, confession, and forgiveness along the way or we can complain and grumble and make the world around us miserable. That is my goal to walk where God has asked me to walk with His Grace, assurance, trust and be certain that one day everything will be perfect! My family will be altogether never to have to part again! Hurrah!!! A pilgrimage I think is keeping our eyes on the goal and know that no matter how hard the journey one day it will all be worth it!
"Now my heart is troubled, but what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour? No it was for this very reason I came to this hour! Father glorify your name!" John 12:27-28a
This verse has become a theme verse for me. A great one to come to mind as I walk my pilgrimage. I hope it gives you some grace and hope to walk where God calls you to walk!
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Anniversary
It was time to face another special day - October 26 was supposed to be John and my 3rd anniversary. John had made plans for this celebration, too, about 7 months ago. He was a planner and whenever he was able to get a good deal with his time-shares he would say to me, "How about we go to Palm Desert for our 3rd Anniversary? October came and I knew I had another trip to decide if I was to go. A dear friend, Jeri, agreed to go, so away we went down to Palm Desert! It just happened to be her birthday near my Anniversary and she had lost her husband a few months before my John passed away. We decided to celebrate the way our husbands would have if they had been with us, dinner at Ruth's Chris. Yes, we dressed up pretty and tried not to make our waitress cry when we told her what we were celebrating. Jeri and I enjoyed sharing memories together and of course shed some tears but needless to say it was a great restful week for both of us. We were both glad to have some blessed and happy times around the sad reminder of loss! We did make time to watch a few awesome movies, which if you haven't seen them, we highly recommend! "October Baby" and "Miracles from Heaven" great stories and wonderful acting! Warning they do make you cry!
Another thing we did was attended a favorite church John had taken me to the two times we had been down there before called Southwest Church. We were both glad we went as it was so inspiring! We felt it applied very well to living the life of a widow and staying strong with God. It can apply to any situation in life that is tough to live with. Here are the key points - in fact I love reading them again for myself!! I feel bad as I can't find the pastor's name on the bulletin!
From: Philippians 1:12-30
Key Questions:
1. Am I living with God's perspective?
When I face problems joyfully.....(not always easy)
It advances the gospel! It encourages other believers. It teaches me what's important.
Lesson: God has a purpose behind everyone of my problems!
2. Am I living on God's power?
3. Am I living for God's purpose?
Lesson: If I have power and purpose I have passion!
Essential Steps:
1. Stand firm! How? Don't give up!
2. Stick together! How? Don't go it alone!
3. Stay confident! How? Don't be afraid!
The most important message I received that day is whose voice am I listening to and believing? God or my world? Do I believe God's Word is true and completely reliable? YES! Paul the apostle wrote this letter to the Philippian believers when he was in very hard conditions. He was in prison for his faith.
I don't know about you but these thoughts really encouraged me!
Today back at my own church our youth pastor Tim did an awesome job of pointing out these same important truths in our lives. We need to believe that the Bible is the true inspired Word of God and can make us wise for salvation through Jesus. It is the only way we can face the difficult issues of our day. We can't save ourselves by good deeds, or work, only Jesus saves through His death and resurrection!
By this truth we can BELIEVE and BE SURE we are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN!!
Another thing we did was attended a favorite church John had taken me to the two times we had been down there before called Southwest Church. We were both glad we went as it was so inspiring! We felt it applied very well to living the life of a widow and staying strong with God. It can apply to any situation in life that is tough to live with. Here are the key points - in fact I love reading them again for myself!! I feel bad as I can't find the pastor's name on the bulletin!
From: Philippians 1:12-30
Key Questions:
1. Am I living with God's perspective?
When I face problems joyfully.....(not always easy)
It advances the gospel! It encourages other believers. It teaches me what's important.
Lesson: God has a purpose behind everyone of my problems!
2. Am I living on God's power?
3. Am I living for God's purpose?
Lesson: If I have power and purpose I have passion!
Essential Steps:
1. Stand firm! How? Don't give up!
2. Stick together! How? Don't go it alone!
3. Stay confident! How? Don't be afraid!
The most important message I received that day is whose voice am I listening to and believing? God or my world? Do I believe God's Word is true and completely reliable? YES! Paul the apostle wrote this letter to the Philippian believers when he was in very hard conditions. He was in prison for his faith.
I don't know about you but these thoughts really encouraged me!
Today back at my own church our youth pastor Tim did an awesome job of pointing out these same important truths in our lives. We need to believe that the Bible is the true inspired Word of God and can make us wise for salvation through Jesus. It is the only way we can face the difficult issues of our day. We can't save ourselves by good deeds, or work, only Jesus saves through His death and resurrection!
By this truth we can BELIEVE and BE SURE we are EXPECTED IN HEAVEN!!
Sunday, September 18, 2016
An Adventure to Zip Line
Well looking back I see it has already been more than a month since I've wrote anything on this blog.... maybe that's a good thing as I think God has given me a load of peace and strength in the last month.
John had planned a trip to Branson, MO to take me on for my birthday. A timeshare was reserved for us which was fully paid and when John became ill he told me - "Vera take that trip if you can find a friend to go with you if I'm no longer here." It was not a thing I thought I could make happen and almost jokingly said to my foster daughter, Tricia, "Want to go to Branson, MO with me?" I was shocked when she said, "SURE! I'd love to go!" Her husband Steve was wonderful and let his wife go with me for a whole week! We had a blast seeing wonderful music shows and an amazing production of the story of Moses! My favorite thing - Tricia's idea I would have never considered it - was zip lining! At first it was the scariest thing I'd ever done but by the time we finished I was ready to go again! Though it was Tricia's idea, she said once was enough for her. Smile.
It does take a lot of trust to zip line and jump off a tiny platform without knowing if that itty bitty line over your head will hold you up as you swing 30 feet in the air over tree tops to the next platform! The first jump made me shake like a leaf but each swing became more fun!
I believe that walking with God and trusting Him with ALL your life is a similar situation and can be frightening sometimes. God has been so good to me in giving me an incredible amount of comfort. I can say I often feel sadness and have tears because I still miss John but I am not lonely. There is too much love all around me (not to mention God's precious enfolding arms) which gives me a lot of joy and peace. Another reason I don't feel lonely is I have several sweet girlfriends who have lost husbands as well and we can relate feelings and have friendship. One in particular is a friend named Pat who told me about a wonderful book called "The Undistracted Widow" by Carol W. Cornish. We are having a sort of book club going through it together. It has been such a great guide to helping me see that God has called me to this place and I need to learn to embrace it. That seems a little heavy but as I ponder that it gives me a great deal of assurance and comfort.
Finally to close I just want to say wherever God has called you to walk right now lean on His word and God's people to receive His assurance of salvation through Jesus who died for us and freely offers eternal life.
"We are in a battle because the Christian life is war. We know the outcome and we will triumph over our enemies through Christ. Let's take seriously Paul's exhortation to Timothy and consider it our own: "Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." (1 Timothy 6:12) A thought from the book "The Undistracted Widow".
Expecting heaven in the end..................
John had planned a trip to Branson, MO to take me on for my birthday. A timeshare was reserved for us which was fully paid and when John became ill he told me - "Vera take that trip if you can find a friend to go with you if I'm no longer here." It was not a thing I thought I could make happen and almost jokingly said to my foster daughter, Tricia, "Want to go to Branson, MO with me?" I was shocked when she said, "SURE! I'd love to go!" Her husband Steve was wonderful and let his wife go with me for a whole week! We had a blast seeing wonderful music shows and an amazing production of the story of Moses! My favorite thing - Tricia's idea I would have never considered it - was zip lining! At first it was the scariest thing I'd ever done but by the time we finished I was ready to go again! Though it was Tricia's idea, she said once was enough for her. Smile.
It does take a lot of trust to zip line and jump off a tiny platform without knowing if that itty bitty line over your head will hold you up as you swing 30 feet in the air over tree tops to the next platform! The first jump made me shake like a leaf but each swing became more fun!
I believe that walking with God and trusting Him with ALL your life is a similar situation and can be frightening sometimes. God has been so good to me in giving me an incredible amount of comfort. I can say I often feel sadness and have tears because I still miss John but I am not lonely. There is too much love all around me (not to mention God's precious enfolding arms) which gives me a lot of joy and peace. Another reason I don't feel lonely is I have several sweet girlfriends who have lost husbands as well and we can relate feelings and have friendship. One in particular is a friend named Pat who told me about a wonderful book called "The Undistracted Widow" by Carol W. Cornish. We are having a sort of book club going through it together. It has been such a great guide to helping me see that God has called me to this place and I need to learn to embrace it. That seems a little heavy but as I ponder that it gives me a great deal of assurance and comfort.
Finally to close I just want to say wherever God has called you to walk right now lean on His word and God's people to receive His assurance of salvation through Jesus who died for us and freely offers eternal life.
"We are in a battle because the Christian life is war. We know the outcome and we will triumph over our enemies through Christ. Let's take seriously Paul's exhortation to Timothy and consider it our own: "Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." (1 Timothy 6:12) A thought from the book "The Undistracted Widow".
Expecting heaven in the end..................
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Expect Life in the Wilderness
First of all maybe I should start by saying I lied. Yup sorry I was often telling friends and family members "I think this time around (losing my second husband) is a little bit easier than the first time." Not true I decided as I analyzed my situation which can be especially rough at times with lots of tears coming out of nowhere. What I can say is it is different, or maybe it just feels different as it is an experience I've gone through before so I have a little knowledge of what to expect and how to get the comfort I so desperately need at times. God gives me loads of comfort through a host of ways, which include children, grandchildren, friends and everyones prayers along with many loving things done for me.
God always surprises me though and with those surprises reminds me that He is in control and not me. Take for instance this past Sunday morning as I readied myself for church I just couldn't stop crying and it was a bit annoying - feeling like I didn't have time for crying right then - but those tears just kept coming. I felt okay as I left for church and found a seat. My daughter-in-law almost blew it for me by asking, "Are you having a good morning or would you like me to sit beside you?" It was amazing that I was able to say, "Yes I'm good you can sit by your husband." The music minister started the service by saying we are having a time of confession and lament! He made us think about all the things that make us mournful and downcast! After the prayer time (which of course covered many areas of mourning I was going through just that morning) we sang songs that also made us think of sadness as well as give us hope in grief! God surprised me with His strength and comfort during this time and I did not have to shed one tear! I felt like NO WONDER I had to have all those tears to prepare! I was SO GLAD I took time with God before this service! Phew!
This was followed by our pastor preaching on Psalm 23, a favorite of my first husband as he walked through his cancer. On our first trip to Israel my husband and I learned what green pastures and quiet waters really looked like and I always love being reminded (part of our sermon that day) of the fact that it's like a wilderness where the shepherd leads the sheep and cares for them in Israel. Our pastor had another reminder of this thought how in Egypt God called His people out of the flourishing land of the Nile to the Wilderness - a place of death. Our pastor gave such great word pictures of how God calls us to that place of death and we cannot survive without Him. Psalm 63 is a beautiful picture of this. I enjoyed another reminder of Jesus saying in Matthew 10:39 if we lose our life we will gain it. To me this means I need to trust that God knows what He is doing and I should always give Him my wilderness and be confident He will take care of me in it. We must not be afraid of the wilderness because God does big things in this place that seems like death and His people knew that the wilderness was really God's country.
Final thought is that I have to cling to God each day in whatever joy or sadness come my way and be confident He can help me find exactly what I need each and everyday. I know I can be comforted as God has faithfully done this so many times for me in the past. I can EXPECT it.
God always surprises me though and with those surprises reminds me that He is in control and not me. Take for instance this past Sunday morning as I readied myself for church I just couldn't stop crying and it was a bit annoying - feeling like I didn't have time for crying right then - but those tears just kept coming. I felt okay as I left for church and found a seat. My daughter-in-law almost blew it for me by asking, "Are you having a good morning or would you like me to sit beside you?" It was amazing that I was able to say, "Yes I'm good you can sit by your husband." The music minister started the service by saying we are having a time of confession and lament! He made us think about all the things that make us mournful and downcast! After the prayer time (which of course covered many areas of mourning I was going through just that morning) we sang songs that also made us think of sadness as well as give us hope in grief! God surprised me with His strength and comfort during this time and I did not have to shed one tear! I felt like NO WONDER I had to have all those tears to prepare! I was SO GLAD I took time with God before this service! Phew!
This was followed by our pastor preaching on Psalm 23, a favorite of my first husband as he walked through his cancer. On our first trip to Israel my husband and I learned what green pastures and quiet waters really looked like and I always love being reminded (part of our sermon that day) of the fact that it's like a wilderness where the shepherd leads the sheep and cares for them in Israel. Our pastor had another reminder of this thought how in Egypt God called His people out of the flourishing land of the Nile to the Wilderness - a place of death. Our pastor gave such great word pictures of how God calls us to that place of death and we cannot survive without Him. Psalm 63 is a beautiful picture of this. I enjoyed another reminder of Jesus saying in Matthew 10:39 if we lose our life we will gain it. To me this means I need to trust that God knows what He is doing and I should always give Him my wilderness and be confident He will take care of me in it. We must not be afraid of the wilderness because God does big things in this place that seems like death and His people knew that the wilderness was really God's country.
Final thought is that I have to cling to God each day in whatever joy or sadness come my way and be confident He can help me find exactly what I need each and everyday. I know I can be comforted as God has faithfully done this so many times for me in the past. I can EXPECT it.
Sunday, July 31, 2016
The Beginning of the First's
Yesterday after arriving home from a very wonderful time with my sister's family I had a meltdown. I knew I was due for one since I hardly needed to cry on my trip. I did realize it was due mostly to the fact that I came home to an empty house and it accentuates the fact that your sweet husband is no longer there. No one to help bring in the luggage, no one to talk to about the pleasure of the trip and no one to discuss the plans for the coming week. John always said when we came home from any trip that the first night home we had to eat out. He did not want me to trouble myself with cooking. I always loved that idea so I knew I needed to carry on his tradition and honor him by eating out! Thankfully my sweet Cristina went with me and spent the night as well. This really helped lighten the sadness of the first night home.
This morning as I was doing devotions I also read my booklet on "Experiencing Grief" and read about how the first year after a loved one is gone is full of "first's". I knew this to be true and what I realized was that this was the first trip I took since John's death. It was not surprising it was rough to come home.
At the same time I don't want to sound like I don't have some amazingly good things going on often. This trip I took was so very good for me and was filled with a ton of joy. First my granddaughter who was going to go with me got sick so a neighbor of mine stepped in to come along so I wouldn't have to drive to Oregon from California by myself! My new neighborhood is wonderful and full of great ladies! We had a great time together as girls do, never running out of words. It makes road trips fly by. The travel went so smoothly and my neighbor and I had a great time with my sister, her husband, kids, grandkids and great grandkids for 3 full days. My favorite day was a wonderful hike and then a white water river rafting trip. A lot of white water and I didn't fall out!! It is always good to be with family that you don't always get to see to catch up on their lives. The time flew by and I didn't feel much of my sadness as I never had time to feel lonely! It was very good for my soul and very refreshing.
Now that I'm home again I have plenty to do so it's not like I feel the grief all the time but I know it is good to let it come out from time to time as otherwise it can take you down when you least expect. Tears are refreshing even if annoying.......
I wait and long for the day...
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4
This morning as I was doing devotions I also read my booklet on "Experiencing Grief" and read about how the first year after a loved one is gone is full of "first's". I knew this to be true and what I realized was that this was the first trip I took since John's death. It was not surprising it was rough to come home.
At the same time I don't want to sound like I don't have some amazingly good things going on often. This trip I took was so very good for me and was filled with a ton of joy. First my granddaughter who was going to go with me got sick so a neighbor of mine stepped in to come along so I wouldn't have to drive to Oregon from California by myself! My new neighborhood is wonderful and full of great ladies! We had a great time together as girls do, never running out of words. It makes road trips fly by. The travel went so smoothly and my neighbor and I had a great time with my sister, her husband, kids, grandkids and great grandkids for 3 full days. My favorite day was a wonderful hike and then a white water river rafting trip. A lot of white water and I didn't fall out!! It is always good to be with family that you don't always get to see to catch up on their lives. The time flew by and I didn't feel much of my sadness as I never had time to feel lonely! It was very good for my soul and very refreshing.
Now that I'm home again I have plenty to do so it's not like I feel the grief all the time but I know it is good to let it come out from time to time as otherwise it can take you down when you least expect. Tears are refreshing even if annoying.......
I wait and long for the day...
"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Truth and Myth
Another two weeks have passed and I am happy to say they went by rather quickly. These past weeks have involved the fourth of July holiday and visits from friends and overnight stays of grandchildren and my foster daughter, Tricia. It is wonderful to have company and not have to handle life all alone when burdened already with such great loss. Grief is always with me but there is much time when I laugh and enjoy life that God has given for the day.
Grief struck again this morning at a very inconvenient time - as I entered the church foyer. Wow I thought, "Where in the world is this coming from!" I honestly can say I have no idea except I just knew the tears had to flow and there was no stopping them. I'm sorry if I made any of my dear church family uncomfortable but I wasn't going home as I love going to church and my friend Cristina was with me so there was no way I was leaving! It all went well though - hugs were given me by family and friends which actually made me cry more (it's okay though gets rid of a few more tears). After church Cristina and I had some brunch (my favorite Sunday thing to cook) and had a nice time to visit. Tricia and I had a great week as well visiting and catching up and sharing what's happening in our lives. It is hard but important to live with the truth of my situation - which is grief for a time. Again I cannot thank everyone who prays for me and others in tough situations - it is so needed!
Here are some things that encouraged me this week:
I thought of my two husbands God so lovingly gave to me - one for 48 years (Tom) and the other for 2 1/2 years (John). I loved telling John he helped me reach 50 years of marriage! Anyway this week in my sadness one day I thought to myself what would my godly husbands say to me if they were able right now? These are the verses that popped into my head!
Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses (all the believers who have gone before us to heaven - which includes Tom and John) let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
I felt those heavenly cheers many times this week and it gave me strength to carry on with this earthly race we are on!
This week I also have been reading through a grief booklet from Stephen Ministries byKenneth C. Haugk called "A Time to Grieve" book one. There are four booklets. I highly recommend them to read on your own or with others if you are going through grief. One thing that stood out to me this week are some of the myths of grief - let me share some:
Myth: People with strong faith don't grieve.
Myth: A strong person should be able to get through a loss without showing emotion.
Myth: You should be pretty much back to normal after two or three months.
Myth: If you express intense feelings, you're losing control of yourself.
Myth: Crying is a sign of weakness.
Myth: Grief gets easier as you grow older.
Myth: Christians shouldn't grieve if they know their loved one is in heaven. They should only feel joy.
Myth: Continuing to talk about the person who died only makes the pain last longer.
Myth: After a loved one has died, you can never be happy again.
There are a few more and maybe you have some of your own. Grief is hard enough without having to face these myths so please do yourself a favor - believe the truth - God is there for you no matter how you feel even when you are angry at Him. Take all your grief to Him and He will be your comfort and strength in due time. Most importantly take time to cry and grieve when it is needed.
In the end we are all expected and wanted in Heaven by Jesus we just need to believe the truth - 2 Peter 3:9
Grief struck again this morning at a very inconvenient time - as I entered the church foyer. Wow I thought, "Where in the world is this coming from!" I honestly can say I have no idea except I just knew the tears had to flow and there was no stopping them. I'm sorry if I made any of my dear church family uncomfortable but I wasn't going home as I love going to church and my friend Cristina was with me so there was no way I was leaving! It all went well though - hugs were given me by family and friends which actually made me cry more (it's okay though gets rid of a few more tears). After church Cristina and I had some brunch (my favorite Sunday thing to cook) and had a nice time to visit. Tricia and I had a great week as well visiting and catching up and sharing what's happening in our lives. It is hard but important to live with the truth of my situation - which is grief for a time. Again I cannot thank everyone who prays for me and others in tough situations - it is so needed!
Here are some things that encouraged me this week:
I thought of my two husbands God so lovingly gave to me - one for 48 years (Tom) and the other for 2 1/2 years (John). I loved telling John he helped me reach 50 years of marriage! Anyway this week in my sadness one day I thought to myself what would my godly husbands say to me if they were able right now? These are the verses that popped into my head!
Hebrews 12:1-3 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses (all the believers who have gone before us to heaven - which includes Tom and John) let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
I felt those heavenly cheers many times this week and it gave me strength to carry on with this earthly race we are on!
This week I also have been reading through a grief booklet from Stephen Ministries byKenneth C. Haugk called "A Time to Grieve" book one. There are four booklets. I highly recommend them to read on your own or with others if you are going through grief. One thing that stood out to me this week are some of the myths of grief - let me share some:
Myth: People with strong faith don't grieve.
Myth: A strong person should be able to get through a loss without showing emotion.
Myth: You should be pretty much back to normal after two or three months.
Myth: If you express intense feelings, you're losing control of yourself.
Myth: Crying is a sign of weakness.
Myth: Grief gets easier as you grow older.
Myth: Christians shouldn't grieve if they know their loved one is in heaven. They should only feel joy.
Myth: Continuing to talk about the person who died only makes the pain last longer.
Myth: After a loved one has died, you can never be happy again.
There are a few more and maybe you have some of your own. Grief is hard enough without having to face these myths so please do yourself a favor - believe the truth - God is there for you no matter how you feel even when you are angry at Him. Take all your grief to Him and He will be your comfort and strength in due time. Most importantly take time to cry and grieve when it is needed.
In the end we are all expected and wanted in Heaven by Jesus we just need to believe the truth - 2 Peter 3:9
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