Expected Once Again

Can it be true?  So soon Lord?   It is not quite 4 years of losing our first spouses and 2 1/2 years of marriage.............

For those of you who are reading and don't know what I'm talking about this is what happened.  May 2, Monday,  I, Vera, was scheduled for gall bladder surgery.  The day before John said he felt his back pop and he could tell it felt pretty bad.  We went to church in the morning but he was in a lot of pain so we left soon and did not stay to mingle with friends and family.  I told him I could get someone else to take me to my in and out surgery the next day as I didn't like the pain he was in, but he wouldn't hear of it.  We treated his back with some heat and rest and the next morning off to surgery I went with John taking me.  I was checked in quickly and whisked away to the operating table while John decided he was starting to hurt in his arms and jaw as well as still having a very sore back.  After thinking he could go home a minute for some pain meds he did not get far and thought no this is bad so he called a nurse who had been with me.

After telling the nurse he thought he needed ER it was discovered John was having a heart attack while I had surgery!  God did spare his life, but the doctors were ready to perform open heart that very day, but John said no!  "My wife needs to recover a bit and we need to talk", was his reasoning.  They kept John in the hospital till Wednesday while all our children came like fast running cheetahs and helped me get home and back to see my husband after a bit of recovery, as well as keeping him company as needed.  (I wouldn't recommend this)

After a battery of testing and trying to prepare John for the idea of open heart surgery he was sent home to prepare physically and mentally.  Friday morning May 6 was going along great at home when suddenly John had another attack.  We know now we almost lost him but what we did not know was this attack came from internal bleeding.  Later on Sunday and Monday cancer on the esophagus was discovered and as more tests were taken, lesions was found on the spine and hip which also seemed to be cancer.  John no longer was a candidate for open heart surgery and because of his weak heart and chemo could not be an option either.

How is John doing after doctors recommended looking at the fact that his life was good and maybe he should consider going home and enjoying the life left under possible hospice care?  His thought was relief.  That is the very word he used since he no longer had to worry about choice in the matter.  He feels God has brought him to this place and he is glad he doesn't have a choice but gets to rest in the days God has left for him.

How am I, Vera, doing?  Well, yes we are both very sad, but I know it is a God thing that I recovered as quickly as I did with all the emotional stress added as well as physically not being able to rest the way one would do after surgery.  One thing I am sure of, as I look to God everyday He sends the comfort and courage I need to face whatever He gives me.  Another very big comfort to me is that my husband John is so sure of his faith in God that he has no fear of dying and no anger at God's timing even though we both would have loved to have more time.

Every day we look to our Savior and see in His Word or some devotionals the comfort needed that is just right for that day.  We are sure we are all Expected In Heaven very soon.

Favorite verse of John and Vera:  I am the resurrection and the life.  He who believes in me will live even though he dies;   and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.  Do you believe this?  John 11:25