The Engagement

"Things are not the way they are supposed to be."  A phrase Pastor Joel used in his message this morning to make a point about how sin has affected all of life.  He applied it to becoming ill when not expected and having to let go of loved ones sooner than we expected.  John and I could relate to that thought so easily since we lost our spouses.  It has been a journey for us both that holds with it lots of ups and downs.  We are often reminded whether by a sermon or reading God's Word, or reading the devotion book we are doing together on grief that God has a plan and truly can work all things for our good.  This does not mean we never cry or get hit with memories that make us smile or tear up.  This means we trust that God will help us walk in His will and way as we find open doors and encouragement from our family and others to continue our new love relationship.  God has been so amazing in showing us how to love again and giving us courage to do so.  Courage you say?  Courage indeed to love again after 53 and 48 years of being married to other spouses with children and grandchildren who are very used to that person being with us.  Therefore we have spent the last 4 months realizing we wanted to get to know each other better and taking the time to get closer to each others families.  This took (and still does) some doing to spend time with families separately and altogether so they can express their feelings of seeing us together.  We have had some awesome time of laughing and crying with all of them.  I think my favorite time was when John asked for my hand in marriage from our foster daughter, Tricia and her husband Steve when we went down south as well as my 4 children with their spouses here in Visalia.  Tony brought humor into the evening by having a voting ballot with some very funny statements on it. :-) We have received blessings from all and also from the grandchildren.  John and I felt it was very important to have family on board for this huge change in everyone's life.

Many have asked where will we live.  Well my house is in a perfect spot and John is very excited to move here with me.  This makes my family happy and I think his family is fine with that decision as well.  Our wedding date is set for October 26 of this year and we plan to invite only family and make it a sweet celebration of about 80 or so by the time all the relatives near and far are invited.

John and I thank God for the response of our church family.  Tom and I and John and Marlys have lived in this community for over 40 years.  So many people know these brothers as well as Marlys and I who were involved in our churches and community.  It brings a lot of joy to John and I that many of our church family and friends in community have been so happy for us as we have made our engagement known.  There is a certain amount of fear that people won't like it since we are replacing, so to speak, a couple of very special people in our lives.  I know that God has directed our love to be given to each other and be able to share whatever time He calls us to live on His earth before going home!

John and I have come through several months of talking before deciding this is what we wanted for our lives.  It may seem like this was easy to decide but I can say, no it wasn't.  How did it began?  Well I started it, I confess, since I felt the need after realizing how lonely life can be if one does not make plans for some social times with others.  Men just don't have the advantages women do with social outings.  Anyway Jeanie, John's daughter, told me sometime in January that John had gone out for dinner alone. I immediately told John, "Don't do that!  If you want to go out just call me!  I'll go with you!"  After I told him that I thought, "Oh dear!  What have I done!  That was a little forward of me!"  I did feel totally safe about it though since I trusted John completely and enjoyed being with him!  Never the less I felt I may have overstepped my boundaries which can be my middle name at times!  I decided I was safe in the end since he probably wouldn't call me anyway!  Wrong - he waited a day and then asked me to go to dinner on Thursday, it was Tuesday when he called.  We had such a fun evening talking and talking.  Then the following weekend John's sister, who lives in Ripon, became very ill and was not expected to live very long.  It hit John pretty hard and of course he wanted to visit her.  I felt it was not wise for him to travel alone so I volunteered to go with him to keep him company for the day.  Tom and I had often gone to visit her so I too wanted to see her if she wasn't going to survive long.  Again we found so much to talk about and the trip flew by.  John decided to ask a very thought provoking question, "Do you think I should marry again?"  Me thinking - "Wh-at I'm not quite rea-dy for that thought!"  Me speaking, 'Well I guess you have to do what is right for you."  Me thinking again - "I had too nice of a time with this man to let him to chase after other women yet!"  Me saying, "Ummm I wouldn't mind us "talking" as young kids call it."  After saying that the next day I realized he may not have meant he wanted to "talk"  to me so I called and apologized for assuming he might wish to talk to me!  I also said I would be glad to set him up with some very nice ladies I knew!  It was his turn to stutter and say he WAS interested in talking to me more!  We began talking so much on our cell phones at night both our children noticed our bills changed which came through our businesses!  They were suddenly showing way more minutes than normal.  Needless to say we had to confess and get unlimited minute plans.  By Easter we realized we were ready to let more people know about a relationship which had gone from talking to dating.  And on June 28 John asked me if I had a day I could give him 4 or 5 hours of time.  It was about 105 that day and he looked for the coolest place which was the mountains.  He booked lunch at the Wuksachi Lodge in the Peaks restaurant in the Sequoia National Park and during lunch he asked me if I would marry him.  It was a very sweet time of realizing how we had grown in a special love that God granted us.  We were very sure it was a God led thing since it was a complete surprise to us both.  Neither one of us expected more than a dear friendship when we first began and there were plenty of bumps in the road of talking and dating since I had my share of insecure feelings.  The thing that changed me was a feeling that if I did not make up my mind that I was really sure I would have to say goodbye.  When I faced that truthfully I realized I did not want to lose him and cried for most of the morning working through the feelings.

Well that's the best way I can describe our love story.  We both realize just because we found new love does not mean old love disappears or the grief that goes with it.  We expect tears to come from time to time.  We have found don't measure love by the grief we feel, but just cry it out and receive the peace only God can give in order to move on.  God has answered so many prayers already that He won't stop now!  We realize He has many surprises for us on our road of life that leads to being "Expected in Heaven"!  The Love Story continues.....................