Reading my last post I see we were not past the testing stage of John's cancer type. Well since then John spent 3 days in the hospital to get a good lung biopsy done so he could proceed to treatment. We did find out he has stage 4 lung and bone cancer. When it is in the bone it automatically becomes stage 4. It is not small cell lung cancer either, which we were hoping for. This seems like rather depressing news but at the same time there are some great new treatments out there that give a lot of hope. He has had one treatment of two powerful chemotherapy products and one immunotherapy. We are pleased with his follow up testing results and have heard that this treatment can put his cancer into remission and in some cases cure it, even the bone part of it!
There are always side effects when taking a bunch of medicines, chemo, etc. into our bodies. John has had his share of pain from the bone cancer and therefore takes powerful pain meds. They help, yet again, lots of side effects. John hangs in there with great strength. We both have had our moments of frustration. I confess mine can consist mostly of self-pity which I don't like at all. It caused a melt-down one day I'm rather ashamed of and so now I'm trying to rest more on God instead of my own weak strength. Thank you all so very much for prayer. I believe in the power of prayer more then anything! Medicine is a wonderful answer to our prayers, but the creator is the one who has made our bodies. He is the one who has to direct our doctors and nurses to bring about the perfect outcome.
Since John's first treatment we attended a huge family gathering (my family and John's) for Thanksgiving and enjoyed having his girls with their families in town. They came from Sacramento and Atlanta, Georgia. The day was the worst day for John as far as strength went, but he was so glad to be able to be a part of the day. A cosy couch in the middle of everything helped!
We look forward to Christmas which we are now trying to prepare for. We do as much each day as is possible and not worry about the rest. The main thing we try to do is enjoy what God gives for the day and praise Him for the ability to do what we can to have a normal life in the midst of deciding what food tastes the best as well as good for you, handling pain, medicine, treatments, doctor visits, CT and MIR scans, and blood tests!
There is always suffering in life. One problem gets better and another can soon follow. Not to sound pessimistic, it is just a fact. If we don't have hope in God there is very little that can bring real peace or happiness. So whoever reads this I would encourage you to put your hope in God so that suffering can be handled. John and I are reading a great devotional booklet this month that happens to be on suffering. The other day the key verse was:
Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
Also a thought was shared from George MacDonald: "Trust God to weave your little thread into the great web, though the pattern shows it not yet."
I like both these thoughts and most of all knowing with certainty this Christmas season Christ was born so we could saved from sin and be Expected in Heaven one day!
Friday, November 30, 2018
Tuesday, November 6, 2018
Refining Fire
There is a praise song that has the words:
"Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord"
by - Brian Doerksen, 2008
This song was a favorite of mine but I never really knew the full meaning of the words. God has been teaching me in the last 7 years in ways I would not have imagined.
Many of you are wondering how John and I are doing after just 7 short months of marriage and finding out John has lung and bone cancer. Well very, very sad first of all and totally incapable of walking this journey alone without God holding us up. Thank you so very much to the many who have said you are praying for us! We need it!! God has answered in the way that each day He gives us hope and holds our hands and helps us move forward.
John has taken all the needed tests, but the bone marrow test taken in the doctor's office wasn't good enough, so they want another one to give the final prognosis for treatment. So now we wait once again for the hospital to schedule him with the radiology department. We were told this could take another week to week and half. Yes, this woman is continuing to try to speed this process any way I can. All his other tests have been sent to the hospital so please pray that they will do the test this week! It's my understanding that once the test is taken they still have to wait a day or so for it to process in the lab.
We are very hopeful that there is treatment for his cancer that can make it go into remission or give him some more days with me. There is always hope as well for a miracle! We never doubt what God can do. We also have said not my will but Yours be done.
"These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." I Peter 1:7
"Purify my heart
Let me be as gold and precious silver
Refiner's fire
My heart's one desire
Is to be holy
Set apart for You, Lord"
by - Brian Doerksen, 2008
This song was a favorite of mine but I never really knew the full meaning of the words. God has been teaching me in the last 7 years in ways I would not have imagined.
Many of you are wondering how John and I are doing after just 7 short months of marriage and finding out John has lung and bone cancer. Well very, very sad first of all and totally incapable of walking this journey alone without God holding us up. Thank you so very much to the many who have said you are praying for us! We need it!! God has answered in the way that each day He gives us hope and holds our hands and helps us move forward.
John has taken all the needed tests, but the bone marrow test taken in the doctor's office wasn't good enough, so they want another one to give the final prognosis for treatment. So now we wait once again for the hospital to schedule him with the radiology department. We were told this could take another week to week and half. Yes, this woman is continuing to try to speed this process any way I can. All his other tests have been sent to the hospital so please pray that they will do the test this week! It's my understanding that once the test is taken they still have to wait a day or so for it to process in the lab.
We are very hopeful that there is treatment for his cancer that can make it go into remission or give him some more days with me. There is always hope as well for a miracle! We never doubt what God can do. We also have said not my will but Yours be done.
"These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." I Peter 1:7
Friday, January 26, 2018
Surprises and Learning to Live
How tough is it for a widow or widower to live life with trust that everything is going to be okay no matter what comes their way? Maybe the phrase "living until we die" is an appropriate statement to make once you become a widow after a long and happy marriage. Life is always uncertain and nothing is guaranteed so how to live is always the question for everyone, really.
I read a devotion by a woman, Karen Bables, who has cancer and knows it will end in her death eventually. I loved her thoughts on how to choose to die before we die which to her meant letting go. We learn to give up control - first of situations and events, then of people, then of our own life, and finally of our death. Recognizing that we have no control over death is the hardest to accept. We don't need to be frightened of death. The more we deny it, the less value our life has. When we continually die to death, we also live until we die. I personally really like that last thought.
So that brings me to the fact and maybe reason I was willing to be open to the idea of a third marriage after losing my second husband a year and a half ago to cancer. The thought is rather frightening at times to think I could have to face the death of a husband again as there is no promise that says I will die first! In the end I realized I wanted to choose to live till I die and live in confidence that God has my life in His hands and all those I love. He knows what I need and when I need it so I have to trust that the right things will happen at the right times.
With that all said I've been given another sweet man (a widower as well) to date over the past few months and we have set a wedding date for April 7, 2018 Lord willing! We have known each other over 20 years in this community and happened to attend the same school when we were young although we didn't exactly know each other then. Smile. It's another story. His name is John DeLeeuw and was our Christian school superintendent for over 20 years and recently retired. There you have it the surprising news of my life! A new adventure and season to see what God will do in both of our lives.
I hope God gives all of you, who take time to read this blog, the confidence to live life to the full with Jesus as your example and not be tricked into thinking the Bible is a fairytale.
John 10:10 "The thief (the devil) comes to steal, and kill, and destroy, but I (Jesus) have come that you may have life, and have it to the full." Read the whole book of John in the Bible and learn the truth that can set you free to live life no matter what trial or joy you face! Then you will know you are "Expected in Heaven" when death takes you from this life!
I read a devotion by a woman, Karen Bables, who has cancer and knows it will end in her death eventually. I loved her thoughts on how to choose to die before we die which to her meant letting go. We learn to give up control - first of situations and events, then of people, then of our own life, and finally of our death. Recognizing that we have no control over death is the hardest to accept. We don't need to be frightened of death. The more we deny it, the less value our life has. When we continually die to death, we also live until we die. I personally really like that last thought.
So that brings me to the fact and maybe reason I was willing to be open to the idea of a third marriage after losing my second husband a year and a half ago to cancer. The thought is rather frightening at times to think I could have to face the death of a husband again as there is no promise that says I will die first! In the end I realized I wanted to choose to live till I die and live in confidence that God has my life in His hands and all those I love. He knows what I need and when I need it so I have to trust that the right things will happen at the right times.
With that all said I've been given another sweet man (a widower as well) to date over the past few months and we have set a wedding date for April 7, 2018 Lord willing! We have known each other over 20 years in this community and happened to attend the same school when we were young although we didn't exactly know each other then. Smile. It's another story. His name is John DeLeeuw and was our Christian school superintendent for over 20 years and recently retired. There you have it the surprising news of my life! A new adventure and season to see what God will do in both of our lives.
I hope God gives all of you, who take time to read this blog, the confidence to live life to the full with Jesus as your example and not be tricked into thinking the Bible is a fairytale.
John 10:10 "The thief (the devil) comes to steal, and kill, and destroy, but I (Jesus) have come that you may have life, and have it to the full." Read the whole book of John in the Bible and learn the truth that can set you free to live life no matter what trial or joy you face! Then you will know you are "Expected in Heaven" when death takes you from this life!
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