Sunday, May 29, 2016
Blessings and Trials
Here it is Sunday evening and we are thinking back on our week of blessings and trials! It has been a good week in so many ways. We are thankful that John has a great appetite and his food sets well if he doesn't forget to chew his food properly! (A lesson all of us need to learn) John and I both sleep soundly and if we do wake up we go back to sleep quickly - we are very thankful for good rest! John has been on some rather strong medication and his stomach can handle it and he has a clear head. Together we praise God for these things! We are thankful for all the family and friends who love us and call on us and pray for us on a continual basis. Your prayers are felt and we know they have given calmness and strength as well as protection. Thank you to all you dear people praying!!
This week Saturday, May 28 was John's birthday and we were blessed beyond words with a houseful of kids and grandkids and great grandkids stopping by to wish John a happy 78th birthday. John felt so strong all afternoon enjoying our open house time with them. That night we sat down to a light dinner after everyone left, outside on our patio. After we were finished I took some dishes in the kitchen while John tried to pick up a couple items for me (he was walking with his cane and wants to help me so badly). He slipped and fell on the concrete on his bottom (scared the living daylights out of me!) but God was so good and nothing was broken except some crackers he was trying to carry! We needed a neighbor to help lift him up as John was very shook up himself. We are very thankful to have close neighbors!!
John is still working on pain control (not so much from the fall but has had pain all week - fall didn't help though) but also weakness in his legs. They no longer hold him up so well. He said the hardest thing for him (and he wanted me to share this with you) is to realize this is something so different - to have a mindset that you probably won't get better in fact most likely you will get worse. All your life you get sick and always wait for the day when you feel better, right? Well this is very new and strange - to let go of life as it once was and put yourself completely in the hands of God. He says it is not such a bad feeling it is just so different then we are used to.
John is doing such an amazing job of living this way. He gives me courage each day as I see him handle all the things he has to.
Together we read something Oswald Chambers wrote that we thought expressed well how we feel about this season of life experience of really letting go and relying on God completely.
"In that day you will ask Me nothing." John 16:23 Oswald writes:
"When is 'that day'? It is when the ascended Lord makes you one with the Father. 'In that day' you will be one with the Father just as Jesus is, and He said, 'In that day you will ask Me nothing.' Until the resurrection life of Jesus is fully exhibited in you, you have questions about many things. Then after a while you find that all your questions are gone -- you don't seem to have any left to ask. You have come to the point of total reliance on the resurrection life of Jesus, which brings you into complete oneness with the purpose of God.......
In that day you will ask Me nothing -- you will not need to ask because you will be certain that God will reveal things in accordance with His will."
John and I feel we are waiting on the Lord with what He will give us each day. We have joy and peace as well as moments of tears and sorrow together, but we are learning better each day to know and believe that God has us in His Hands and His purpose will be accomplished!
This week Saturday, May 28 was John's birthday and we were blessed beyond words with a houseful of kids and grandkids and great grandkids stopping by to wish John a happy 78th birthday. John felt so strong all afternoon enjoying our open house time with them. That night we sat down to a light dinner after everyone left, outside on our patio. After we were finished I took some dishes in the kitchen while John tried to pick up a couple items for me (he was walking with his cane and wants to help me so badly). He slipped and fell on the concrete on his bottom (scared the living daylights out of me!) but God was so good and nothing was broken except some crackers he was trying to carry! We needed a neighbor to help lift him up as John was very shook up himself. We are very thankful to have close neighbors!!
John is still working on pain control (not so much from the fall but has had pain all week - fall didn't help though) but also weakness in his legs. They no longer hold him up so well. He said the hardest thing for him (and he wanted me to share this with you) is to realize this is something so different - to have a mindset that you probably won't get better in fact most likely you will get worse. All your life you get sick and always wait for the day when you feel better, right? Well this is very new and strange - to let go of life as it once was and put yourself completely in the hands of God. He says it is not such a bad feeling it is just so different then we are used to.
John is doing such an amazing job of living this way. He gives me courage each day as I see him handle all the things he has to.
Together we read something Oswald Chambers wrote that we thought expressed well how we feel about this season of life experience of really letting go and relying on God completely.
"In that day you will ask Me nothing." John 16:23 Oswald writes:
"When is 'that day'? It is when the ascended Lord makes you one with the Father. 'In that day' you will be one with the Father just as Jesus is, and He said, 'In that day you will ask Me nothing.' Until the resurrection life of Jesus is fully exhibited in you, you have questions about many things. Then after a while you find that all your questions are gone -- you don't seem to have any left to ask. You have come to the point of total reliance on the resurrection life of Jesus, which brings you into complete oneness with the purpose of God.......
In that day you will ask Me nothing -- you will not need to ask because you will be certain that God will reveal things in accordance with His will."
John and I feel we are waiting on the Lord with what He will give us each day. We have joy and peace as well as moments of tears and sorrow together, but we are learning better each day to know and believe that God has us in His Hands and His purpose will be accomplished!
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Instant Healing
Here we are another week gone by! It seems like a good week as I ponder all the things we were able to do. Last Sunday afternoon John and I drove up to the hills near here and to the gateway of the Sequoias. It offered us a beautiful view of Lake Kaweah as well as rivers flowing fast from the mountain snow melt. On the way down the mountain we stopped at a favorite ice cream shop and ate Three Rivers home made ice cream!
Many of you might not know what all John has wrong with him. Well as far as we know this is the list - his heart has been repaired with one stint but several other arteries seem to be clogged or partially clogged, he has esophageal cancer in his esophagus close to his stomach and lesions on his spine and hip which he was told was also cancer and which may come from another source. These things are too difficult to treat as there are too many and one would harm the other if treated. Some of you have asked me if we were given expectancy of length of life. This question doesn't bother me or John at all, but to tell you all the truth we figure it is a mute subject as we did not complete testing that might give us more definite answers. We decided to let God decide and take comfort in showing us by John's strength or lack of it when that day would be. So as many of you know we have chosen the way of comfort. We are signed up with hospice and enjoying the days God gives us at home.
John's biggest need for prayer is to keep his pain under control. There is considerable back and hip pain. He is such a trooper - he rarely complains - he is always trying to make my life easier by doing as much as he can for himself. He can't really bend down to pick things up he drops or put on his socks and shoes or step into his pants but I often catch him trying to do these things! I love him for trying but continue to try to be Johnny on the spot so I can help as needed. I love helping him during this time and I am so thankful we have these precious days to share together.
One day this week we got really brave and I took him to the Bible book store for his birthday gift and shopped for a granddaughter's graduation gift. We stopped by Costco after that (yes big feat) to pick up a few items. The cart makes a good walker (he does have a real cain and walker). We than braved a favorite Mexican restaurant. Yes that was a bit much and the next day John felt it but we were so glad we tried.
On Saturday we did another major envelope push - I had my granddaughter's graduation to attend while his daughter "Pop sat" him. They ended up going through some needed bookwork together. When I arrived home I prepared dinner for his son and family for an evening birthday dinner (for his son) at our house. We had a wonderful time sharing dinner and lots of reminiscing with old pictures. John looked so good all day but today he felt that too. We both decided it was worth it and we even made it to church this morning! God is good! Our pastor had a great sermon on Acts 3:1-10. We loved how he pointed out how being lame pointed to sin and when the lame man was made well it was the same as being freed of sin! The lame man for the first time could enter the temple court as his sin was washed away in his healing! No wonder he jumped up and down praising God! He realized by his healing he was redeemed by Jesus! He no longer had to be ashamed but could be accepted in the arms of God being made holy through Jesus. We also enjoyed the thought that the power that healed the man was only Jesus but we are the hand that helps lift up the person in need of Christ! It encouraged John and I to continue to share Jesus as this is what the church should be in the business of doing.
I, Vera, read this today from Oswald Chambers book "My Utmost for His Highest". I don't always love reading this devotional because he is so tough on what the spiritual life should look like. He leaves out no punches! When I walk through hard places (like now) I find it interesting that I enjoy his thoughts more deeply than when everything is going my way!
Here is a thought from today, "God is not concerned about our plans; He doesn't ask, "Do you want to go through this loss of a loved one, this difficulty, or this defeat?" No, He allows these things for His own purpose. The things we are going through are either making us sweeter, better, and nobler men and women, or they are making us more critical and fault-finding, and more insistent on our own way."
May God make John and I willing to have oneness with the Father in our suffering and uncertain days and trust Him to make us His servants as long as He leaves us here to minister until we enter His heavenly home! All who love Jesus and what He has done for us by dying on the cross and rising again are Expected in Heaven!! If you accept Him today - confess your sin and inadequacy and believe in Jesus you will be instantly saved just as the lame man instantly walked!! Instant healing!!
Many of you might not know what all John has wrong with him. Well as far as we know this is the list - his heart has been repaired with one stint but several other arteries seem to be clogged or partially clogged, he has esophageal cancer in his esophagus close to his stomach and lesions on his spine and hip which he was told was also cancer and which may come from another source. These things are too difficult to treat as there are too many and one would harm the other if treated. Some of you have asked me if we were given expectancy of length of life. This question doesn't bother me or John at all, but to tell you all the truth we figure it is a mute subject as we did not complete testing that might give us more definite answers. We decided to let God decide and take comfort in showing us by John's strength or lack of it when that day would be. So as many of you know we have chosen the way of comfort. We are signed up with hospice and enjoying the days God gives us at home.
John's biggest need for prayer is to keep his pain under control. There is considerable back and hip pain. He is such a trooper - he rarely complains - he is always trying to make my life easier by doing as much as he can for himself. He can't really bend down to pick things up he drops or put on his socks and shoes or step into his pants but I often catch him trying to do these things! I love him for trying but continue to try to be Johnny on the spot so I can help as needed. I love helping him during this time and I am so thankful we have these precious days to share together.
One day this week we got really brave and I took him to the Bible book store for his birthday gift and shopped for a granddaughter's graduation gift. We stopped by Costco after that (yes big feat) to pick up a few items. The cart makes a good walker (he does have a real cain and walker). We than braved a favorite Mexican restaurant. Yes that was a bit much and the next day John felt it but we were so glad we tried.
On Saturday we did another major envelope push - I had my granddaughter's graduation to attend while his daughter "Pop sat" him. They ended up going through some needed bookwork together. When I arrived home I prepared dinner for his son and family for an evening birthday dinner (for his son) at our house. We had a wonderful time sharing dinner and lots of reminiscing with old pictures. John looked so good all day but today he felt that too. We both decided it was worth it and we even made it to church this morning! God is good! Our pastor had a great sermon on Acts 3:1-10. We loved how he pointed out how being lame pointed to sin and when the lame man was made well it was the same as being freed of sin! The lame man for the first time could enter the temple court as his sin was washed away in his healing! No wonder he jumped up and down praising God! He realized by his healing he was redeemed by Jesus! He no longer had to be ashamed but could be accepted in the arms of God being made holy through Jesus. We also enjoyed the thought that the power that healed the man was only Jesus but we are the hand that helps lift up the person in need of Christ! It encouraged John and I to continue to share Jesus as this is what the church should be in the business of doing.
I, Vera, read this today from Oswald Chambers book "My Utmost for His Highest". I don't always love reading this devotional because he is so tough on what the spiritual life should look like. He leaves out no punches! When I walk through hard places (like now) I find it interesting that I enjoy his thoughts more deeply than when everything is going my way!
Here is a thought from today, "God is not concerned about our plans; He doesn't ask, "Do you want to go through this loss of a loved one, this difficulty, or this defeat?" No, He allows these things for His own purpose. The things we are going through are either making us sweeter, better, and nobler men and women, or they are making us more critical and fault-finding, and more insistent on our own way."
May God make John and I willing to have oneness with the Father in our suffering and uncertain days and trust Him to make us His servants as long as He leaves us here to minister until we enter His heavenly home! All who love Jesus and what He has done for us by dying on the cross and rising again are Expected in Heaven!! If you accept Him today - confess your sin and inadequacy and believe in Jesus you will be instantly saved just as the lame man instantly walked!! Instant healing!!
Sunday, May 15, 2016
Expected Once Again
Can it be true? So soon Lord? It is not quite 4 years of losing our first spouses and 2 1/2 years of marriage.............
For those of you who are reading and don't know what I'm talking about this is what happened. May 2, Monday, I, Vera, was scheduled for gall bladder surgery. The day before John said he felt his back pop and he could tell it felt pretty bad. We went to church in the morning but he was in a lot of pain so we left soon and did not stay to mingle with friends and family. I told him I could get someone else to take me to my in and out surgery the next day as I didn't like the pain he was in, but he wouldn't hear of it. We treated his back with some heat and rest and the next morning off to surgery I went with John taking me. I was checked in quickly and whisked away to the operating table while John decided he was starting to hurt in his arms and jaw as well as still having a very sore back. After thinking he could go home a minute for some pain meds he did not get far and thought no this is bad so he called a nurse who had been with me.
After telling the nurse he thought he needed ER it was discovered John was having a heart attack while I had surgery! God did spare his life, but the doctors were ready to perform open heart that very day, but John said no! "My wife needs to recover a bit and we need to talk", was his reasoning. They kept John in the hospital till Wednesday while all our children came like fast running cheetahs and helped me get home and back to see my husband after a bit of recovery, as well as keeping him company as needed. (I wouldn't recommend this)
After a battery of testing and trying to prepare John for the idea of open heart surgery he was sent home to prepare physically and mentally. Friday morning May 6 was going along great at home when suddenly John had another attack. We know now we almost lost him but what we did not know was this attack came from internal bleeding. Later on Sunday and Monday cancer on the esophagus was discovered and as more tests were taken, lesions was found on the spine and hip which also seemed to be cancer. John no longer was a candidate for open heart surgery and because of his weak heart and chemo could not be an option either.
How is John doing after doctors recommended looking at the fact that his life was good and maybe he should consider going home and enjoying the life left under possible hospice care? His thought was relief. That is the very word he used since he no longer had to worry about choice in the matter. He feels God has brought him to this place and he is glad he doesn't have a choice but gets to rest in the days God has left for him.
How am I, Vera, doing? Well, yes we are both very sad, but I know it is a God thing that I recovered as quickly as I did with all the emotional stress added as well as physically not being able to rest the way one would do after surgery. One thing I am sure of, as I look to God everyday He sends the comfort and courage I need to face whatever He gives me. Another very big comfort to me is that my husband John is so sure of his faith in God that he has no fear of dying and no anger at God's timing even though we both would have loved to have more time.
Every day we look to our Savior and see in His Word or some devotionals the comfort needed that is just right for that day. We are sure we are all Expected In Heaven very soon.
Favorite verse of John and Vera: I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this? John 11:25
For those of you who are reading and don't know what I'm talking about this is what happened. May 2, Monday, I, Vera, was scheduled for gall bladder surgery. The day before John said he felt his back pop and he could tell it felt pretty bad. We went to church in the morning but he was in a lot of pain so we left soon and did not stay to mingle with friends and family. I told him I could get someone else to take me to my in and out surgery the next day as I didn't like the pain he was in, but he wouldn't hear of it. We treated his back with some heat and rest and the next morning off to surgery I went with John taking me. I was checked in quickly and whisked away to the operating table while John decided he was starting to hurt in his arms and jaw as well as still having a very sore back. After thinking he could go home a minute for some pain meds he did not get far and thought no this is bad so he called a nurse who had been with me.
After telling the nurse he thought he needed ER it was discovered John was having a heart attack while I had surgery! God did spare his life, but the doctors were ready to perform open heart that very day, but John said no! "My wife needs to recover a bit and we need to talk", was his reasoning. They kept John in the hospital till Wednesday while all our children came like fast running cheetahs and helped me get home and back to see my husband after a bit of recovery, as well as keeping him company as needed. (I wouldn't recommend this)
After a battery of testing and trying to prepare John for the idea of open heart surgery he was sent home to prepare physically and mentally. Friday morning May 6 was going along great at home when suddenly John had another attack. We know now we almost lost him but what we did not know was this attack came from internal bleeding. Later on Sunday and Monday cancer on the esophagus was discovered and as more tests were taken, lesions was found on the spine and hip which also seemed to be cancer. John no longer was a candidate for open heart surgery and because of his weak heart and chemo could not be an option either.
How is John doing after doctors recommended looking at the fact that his life was good and maybe he should consider going home and enjoying the life left under possible hospice care? His thought was relief. That is the very word he used since he no longer had to worry about choice in the matter. He feels God has brought him to this place and he is glad he doesn't have a choice but gets to rest in the days God has left for him.
How am I, Vera, doing? Well, yes we are both very sad, but I know it is a God thing that I recovered as quickly as I did with all the emotional stress added as well as physically not being able to rest the way one would do after surgery. One thing I am sure of, as I look to God everyday He sends the comfort and courage I need to face whatever He gives me. Another very big comfort to me is that my husband John is so sure of his faith in God that he has no fear of dying and no anger at God's timing even though we both would have loved to have more time.
Every day we look to our Savior and see in His Word or some devotionals the comfort needed that is just right for that day. We are sure we are all Expected In Heaven very soon.
Favorite verse of John and Vera: I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this? John 11:25
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