Here it is more than 9 months since I last posted on this blog! It has been hard to think about doing it as life has been another roller coaster for me and most of you as well. The first thing I experienced in the month of October 2019 was the loss of my third husband, John DeLeeuw. I have felt an incredible sadness which has had many hills and valleys. It was extremely hard to lose someone so dear again. God had blessed me with three great men to love and each time I went through losing them it was rough. John succumbed to his stage 4 lung cancer after a year long battle. We married in April of 2018 and we were so thrilled to enjoy marriage again after both of us lost spouses. Now all I can say it was a wonderful year and a half because God blessed me with a great man. I was able to share lots of joy in between the sorrow in that short time. I shall never forget any of it. Because I married three men now I have three incredible families, I can never complain that I don't have anyone to turn to. Especially now in this season of Coronavirus!
What a time - RIGHT?! I was just feeling like I was getting back to my new normal - no husband, becoming a widow once again and trying to deal with grief. Then boom in comes a pandemic! I first felt like I was in a fog and not sure where I was going. Slowly though I felt God's hand on me saying, "you will be fine. Just look up and rest on Me, I will take you through."
I have to confess one night I tried to take the whole world on my shoulders and felt like I had to do something to help everyone see the truth about the virus. LOL! Truth was I didn't even begin to understand the truth about it! But sometimes in the middle of the night one can feel the need to fix the trouble that's out there. OR am I the only one that does silly things of such nature in the middle of the night? Anyway now I feel more solid and I feel like I know two things: God says - Love one another. That is His main command. I realize that to love includes accept people no matter if they agree or not with my thoughts and respect everyone when out in public. The face mask doesn't hurt me to wear and trying to keep distance isn't hard either - depending how full the area I'm in - but most of the time it works fine. Washing hands, well that is common sense.
That said, I am doing okay even though I don't love death and dying I know it is part of life. My husband John and I cherished the words of a few songs that helped us when we were discouraged by life. One was a Christian contemporary song called "Eye of the Storm" by Ryan Stevenson. Go to YouTube and listen. Such great words! And another one was the old favorite "The Rose" which was song sung at our wedding. The Rose has a line that says "The soul afraid of dying never learns to live." When we married we were older, and life is a risk. We, of course, hoped we would have several more good years together as we were both rather healthy. But we knew in life there are no guarantees. We still wanted to enjoy life and take the risk.
My final word to all who read this is to put your hope in a sure guarantee - Jesus Christ! John 3:16-17 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son (Jesus) into the world to condemn the world but to save the world through Him.
Now that is LOVE! Do you believe? Are you expected in Heaven? Take the risk that has a sure outcome!
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